8.16.2006

#66-Bella Stander Humerus Poetry Contest

Hello Miss Snark,

First a confession, I'm a Canadian which I realize means I'm not eligible to win a prize. (By the way, except for socializied medicine, stilleto mukluks and an unfortunate habit of apologizing to inanimate objects, we Canadians are just like you Americans.) However, if I was lucky enough to win something I'd like my prize to go to my friend Susan, who lives on Long Island. If that's not okay then I'll forfeit the chance at a prize just for the honour of entering.**




Ode to Bella--Girl, You're Breaking Down

(May be sung to When I'm 64)

It's hard to believe, but you've passed middle age.
It's all downhill from here.
I know that you would like to think you're still a pup.
But soon you'll keep your teeth in a cup.
Your joints all make noise like deboning a bird.
And soon you'll need a truss.
Might as well face it. You can't escape it.
Girl, you're breaking down.

(chorus)
Everything is hairier, and everything is larger,
And it's all hanging lower down.
Gravity's not your friend.
And you know what's waiting down the road.
Undies from Depend.




(non-us address winners can designate US destinations.

I can't mail stuff outside the US cause they want ID at the post office
and ..."Miss Snark" doesn't have a drivers license)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ey, it's OK if you're a Canuk. We still like ye, yanno. It's not like you're FRENCH or something.

Dave said...

stilleto mukluks?

I'd love to have a pair in my closet. Not because I'd ever wear them (I'm a guy) but because they'd confuse the hell out of the cleaning ladies.

Get well quick
;)

The Queen-a Athena said...

"By the way, except for socializied medicine, stilleto mukluks and an unfortunate habit of apologizing to inanimate objects, we Canadians are just like you Americans"

As a Canuck who now lives in the States, I have to say, it's more than the mukluks. I have yet to find the American (outside my own offspring, of course) who understands the meaning of poutine, Bay blankets, Canadian Tire money, or rolling up the rim at Timmy's to see if you won anything with your double-double.

Love your poem!

Anonymous said...

Loved it! It's just so true (sad but true). As a fellow Canuck, I must take a trip up to the Yukon and get a pair of those stilletto mukluks!! Bet they're comfy! LOL!!

Akuseru said...

My vote here.