Bella Stander Humerus Poetry Contest Winners

The voting is tallied and KY (in green eyeshade) has verified the count. It's totally subjective, based on comments (and I know some of you wags voted more than once!) so if you think you was robbed...tell it to the judge.

Herewith the popular vote:

Three way tie for third among:
44, 45, and 71

who barely edged out:
79, 56 and 39

Second place:

Sorry for your bone
At least it‚s not Alzhei-
Where have my pants gone?

And the people's choice for BEST is a landslide:


(A Confucian get-well sentiment)

I hear your arm hurts
nothing make bone happier
than a real good screw

Killer Yapp gives props to #81

Award for the entrant who thought Miss Snark had a lisp when she called for "pithy one liners" goes to #29

Award that requires recipient to purchase Miss Snark a new keyboard: #22

Award for sending Miss Snark to her OED: #76

Award for outstanding achievement in both sound AND choreography:
#25, 40, 55 and 64.

Your prize is a soft shoe.
and a link to this

Prize for best PDA: #28

Miss Snark's fave for imagination: #79

Miss Snark's fave for integration: #59

Miss Snark's fave for rumination: #10


Anonymous said...

Damn, I knew I should have gone with #62 instead of #45...I wonder if any keyboards were ruined.

Agent Kristin said...

And an update! I talked to Bella yesterday while she was still in the hospital. Groggy but doing nicely.

The plate was longer than anticipated (6 inches rather than 4--yikes) but already she has more movement in her right hand then she has ever had since the accident.

That's good news!
Kristin Nelson

Mindy Tarquini said...

Argh! Voting's done already? Should have gotten my ballot stuffing apparatus into place sooner...

I'd say that I'll plan better next time, but it's a bit much to expect more of Miss Snark's friends to take nosedives off horses just so I can get a mention for choreography.

Get well, Ms. Stander!


Anonymous said...

Yes, I made third place! Number 71!

WannabeMe said...


Whoo-hoo! I got the thought-Miss-Snark-had-a-lisp award! Woot!

*can die giddy now*



Feisty said...

Great stuff and the people's choice is a winner!

angie said...

That video was so very, very wrong... The things writers have to do these days!

Here's hoping Bella S. is up and ready to put on her dancing shoes ASAP!

The Rentable Writer said...

w00t! I was 79!

Bernita said...

That's nice to know, Ms. Nelson, thank you.
And thank you, Miss Snark Dear, for the lovely idea.

Anonymous said...

Great news, agent K.

d said...

Congratulations to all the winners and all the participants.

I was late to the game (reading) and too late for the voting.
But I sure laughed!

And I'm glad to hear the good news about Ms. Stander via agent kristin.

Inkwolf said...

Congrats to the winners! This contest was good for lots of laughs, and I hope Bella is soon ready to get back on the horse!

Hmmm, this puts me among the Honorably Mentioned for the second contest in a row. Well, I'll just take comfort in the fact that eager fans have translated my humorous Harry Potter fan fics into Chinese and Czechoslavakian...

Bella Stander said...

A million thanks to Miss Snark and all you clever, kindhearted Snarklings. The early entries sent me off to the hospital with a big smile (and a catch in my throat), and the later ones cheered me enormously upon my return a couple of hours ago. Blanche Dubois was right to depend on the kindness of strangers (though some entries were by those near and dear to me).

Just so you know I have my priorities straight: I went to Miss Snark's blog first, and have yet to read the comments on my blog or read my email. There will be plenty of time to do the latter, as the orthopod told me this a.m. that it will take another 3-4 months to recover.

Anonymous said...

I was swamped with work and missed the voting. But I got a good chuckle out of the winners.

Poor Bella. I hope this doesn't put her off horses (literally and figuratively) forever. I fell off a horse and broke my tailbone. It's been off kilter for twenty years, but I still love the old critters.

Corn Dog said...

Thanks for the update, agent kristen. Good news. My happy thoughts are with you, Bella.

Umm, yah. I accidentally voted more than once. Sorry. I've been a bad corn dog. I said one was my favorite and then I see later on I said another one was my favorite. Like my great auntie used to say, "Of the things I miss the most, my mind is right up there."

Elektra said...

Yay! I made Miss Snark--*sounds of looking up the word 'ruminate'*--chew cud!

McKoala said...

I missed the voting! Congratulations to all the winners. Just for the record my vote would have gone to the second placed horse (story of my life).

acd said...

Woo! Dictionary award!

...I made that word up. *._.*

Anonymous said...

Honorable Mention is the story of my life. How much honor can one man stand, and for Sound and Choreography, yet!

Yes, I perpetrated #64, and I'm proud of it (also slightly amazed that I remembered as much of "Father William" as I did, as it's been a couple of decades since the last time I read "Alice In Wonderland").

Get well, Bella, and keep that arm in shape now, y'hear?

Christine Fletcher said...

Yippee, I was #44!

Nothing like a horse and a fracture for inspiration. (Hmmm, maybe I ought to put one or both in my new novel...)

Anne C. said...

Well, I'm glad I was an early entry because the brilliance of the later ones would have intimidated me. As it was, the humbleness of my entry made me glad I write prose and not poetry.
Congratulations to all who were recognized and thanks to Ms. Stander who provided cause for this deluge of verse.
Of course, thanks to Miss Snark for her wonderful job hosting and judging and thinking up this contest in the first place.

Richard Cooper said...

Dear Judge,
I've been robbed, I tell ya--robbed! I should have snagged an award for 85th, maybe 86th place at least!

(Glad to hear Bella's now home and recuperating!)

Anonymous said...

Christine Fletcher, of 44 "Oats"

I ADORED that poem, thank you!

Anonymous said...

It's good to see Bella is on the mend, in spite of her protracted plate, and that this fun little contest hit the proper mark in raising her sprits.

Cheers to all!