I got back to my office yesterday and found phone messages with things like "has question about agency" and "do you want to read his book".
I was a tad puzzled about why a spate of dingalings were dialing Snark Central.
Then I read the slush pile. More odd references.
Then I cottoned on: The new Guide to Literary Agents is out.
If by some chance you are new to querying, here's one very helpful hint:
don't telephone me to ask if I want to read your novel.
Agents differ on email, snail mail, SASEs even. No one, and I mean NO ONE takes phone queries. This is a written medium. We have to see pages, be they electronic, papyrus, or #92 pink astrobright. Calling me to ask if something sounds good leads to the following:
MS: Hello Snark Central
NW: Hello? Is this Snark Central?
MS: yes it is.
NW: The literary agency?
MS: (texting the gin delivery service) yes.
NW: I'm an author
NW: I'm an author, I have an idea for a book.
MS: (watching Youtube videos) uh huh
NW: It's a great idea.
MS: Ok, I'll take it.
NW: you will?
MS: oh absolutely. I'm always looking for great ideas, so I'm glad you have one.
NW: oh that's so wonderful! Where do I send the manuscript?
MS: manuscript? I don't want a manuscript. I just want the great idea.
NW: but, it's a book. It's a agreat idea for a book
MS: oh. well, that's too bad. I only want great ideas.
NW: but, you're a literary agent! Don't you sell books?
MS: yes I do sell books.
NW: well, don't I have to send you pages?
MS: gee, why didn't I think of that. Sending pages. What a novel idea.