8.23.2006

Unfinished novels

Miss Snark,

You have mentioned in your blog several times that seeing the end of a book is very important as it is often the hardest part to write. Have you ever been so excited by someones writing, and so convinced of their brilliance, that you offered representation after only a partial? (The purpose of this would be to scoop them up before soemone else, just like if Clooney offered to marry you. Surely you would say YES before even going on one date with him) I don't think this would ever happen to me, I am just curious.



Well, Mr. Clooney arrives fully formed. Your analogy is more akin to an arranged marriage with Mr Clooney when he was fourteen. Devotion only goes so far-there would have had to be a substantial amount of cash involved for me to have agreed to that proposal.

I've not succumbed to that temptation. Others have, and much hilarity ensued. I'm glad to send "yes I'm still interested" notes on scented paper (no caustic comments about what kind of scent) via the footman for as long as it takes but no offers of Snarkly Representation till that puppy has stopped chewing shoes and is ready for obedience school.

Once you're on my client list you get more focused attention; I start counting you as "unsold" and pretty soon as "unsold for more than a year" and that kind of thing makes me look like Howard Hughes in the latter part of The Aviator.

If someone else snatches you up in larval stage, more power to them. I know how I work best.

8 comments:

Kimber An said...

Many, many, many divorces out there happen because the couples in question fell in love and jumped into marriage too soon, before really getting to know and get along with their potential spouses. Those kinds of marriages may sell romance novels, but rarely work in real life. Miss Snark is good, Miss Snark is wise.

Talia Mana said...

That was hilarious

Please Please oh snarky one, write a satirical novel for us. Promise I will buy it...

Dana Y. T. Lin said...

"yes I'm still interested"

*falls to floor laughing*

The Editrixie said...

My boss once got sent a manuscript for a romance that was AMAZING. Funny, great characters, great sexual tension. She was doing a P&L and deciding how much to offer when she gave the manuscript to me to read. Unlike her, I read past the first 150 pages and found out that halfway through the heroine went goth, killed the hero, and then killed herself!

Not reading the end of a novel can be very, very dangerous!

Anonymous said...

the editrixie said and found out that halfway through the heroine went goth, killed the hero, and then killed herself!

I'm begging on both knees to know what happened in the second half of that romance, then.

--Aconite

Cara said...

I think Mistress Snarkalicious sells her self short by assuming Mr. Clooney would be fully formed with out a full 'interview'.
What if his 'plot' fell short of satisfaction?

Anonymous said...

Larval stage? Hilarious.

Lincoln Crisler said...

So if you send "Still Interested" on scented paper, are we to assume that Snarkly Rejections are sent on used TP or KY's dirty newspapers? They too are scented, of course and you wouldn't have to write on them; (most) people would likely get the idea.