8.31.2006

Whaddaya mean DISQUALIFIED

Ok, let's all look at the calendar.
What day is it?
Anyone?
You, you there in the back, clutching your tear stained query letter.

Yes, that's right it's Thursday.
All day even.

What day does the crapometer start?
Friday you say? right again!


So, those of you with suet for brains who are sending your entries NOW, be grateful the only thing you get back is DISQUALIFIED.

28 comments:

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

You know, I can just visualize suet brains. It's not a pretty picture. Not even a tiny bit. Nope.

And ... AND I want ya all to go back to the sample and ignore the weird stuff that Word did to the email. I want comments on that sample's quality. Focus on the writing, dear hearts.

GO COMMENT ON THE WRITING SO I CAN HAVE SOME PEACE OF MIND AND MOVE ON TO MORE IMPORTANT THINGS, like Oreos and whether my oldest child is just being annoying or is really .... well just being annoying.

Chumplet said...

You go, girl.
It's like being at a toddler's birthday party and they just don't understand that they're not allowed to dive into the cake until the candles are blown out and 'Happy Birthday' is sung.

Dave said...

It could be worse.

I had a contract to help set up an ISO 9000 system (quality control systems) at at goernmnent agency and the denizens used to argue over any requirements. If you said submit today, they did it tomorrow. It you said sign it, they initialed it. If you said list it, they prepared paragraphs. If you asked for a document, they designed their own and criticised yours. If you sent a contractor to ask the information and fill the form out for them, they objected to the union. If you told them to do it on the computer, they wrote it by hand.

Why is it so hard to follow instructions?

It's so simple to do it right the first time rather than argue how to do it wrong.

I think I'm having stomach trouble today that's why I feel so ... outspoken ... honest...

Nancy said...

My daddy always says, "Never underestimate the stupidity of the human race."

Genjii said...

I looked up at my phone clock today at exactly 1:06pm EDT, cursed my calendar alarm for not producing the "SNARK-TIME" pop-up message I'd programmed into it, opened up my pre-saved email, was just about to click send when I thankfully looked down at my PC's date/time indicator and realized it's Thursday, 8/31..... guess I just have gristle for brains...

Anonymous said...

"...be grateful the only thing you get back is DISQUALIFIED."


MS, you should employ specially trained literary ninjas to act as a Snark Squad and remove such writers from the gene pool.

Miss Snark said...

The Snark Squad is busy today.

Normally of course, they'd be right on it.

Hard to get good ninja help these days.

Greg said...

I recently learned brains are largely red, which fascinated me, as I always thought they were gray-ish--they don't get grayish until after a person dies.
Red jelly brains, perhaps.

Anonymous said...

I should think a nun with a ruler is most appropriate for this sort of transgression. Youch!

writerdog said...

NEVER underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

WitLiz Today said...

Geez Louise, it's so damn hot in here! I can see the fire has spread.

Suggestion: take off your judicial robes people, and be a little bit more understanding, or better yet, don't follow Ms Snark into the bathroom again.

Miss Snark said the end of August originally. Now I know since that time, she has been very very plain about the dates. Plain as Jane.

I suspect these poor people were probably thinking end of August and not Friday the first.

Irregardless, there aren't any excuses for the comments I'm reading here. Senior moments happen to everybody. I believe Ms Snark may have had one today, and you all admirably rallied around her. So it's in you, now share it!

Believe you me, the ones that sent that stuff in today, already feel like shit!

After all they got disqualified, and trust me Ms Snark, that was punishment enough. A public hanging wasn't necessary.

Anonymous said...

We are all anxious. We are all eager. Too much, it appears.

Dee said...

I think I'd be more afraid of the nun with ruler than ninjas!

Sister Snarque said...

As well you should be.

Nick said...

I can understand, Miss Snark. Ninjas charge by the hour and definitely aren't cheap.

-Nick

Maria said...

witliz today:

Without the public hanging, the subs would probably just keep on coming in. As usual, Miss Snark actually did other snarklings a favor--if they see the warning, they might not hit: Send.

And I'm sorry, but the public flogging was deserved--this was more than a senior moment, which implies a single, simple mistake.

If entrants are so interested in the crapopmeter, how is it, pray tell, that they missed not only the dates and announcements, but also the first time Miss Snark gave those that sent in subs early a nice, polite reminder?

writerdog said...

"Irregardless"

How's this Judge; Irregardless is not a word.

If following SIMPLE directions is too diffcult, perhaps something less taxing is in order.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps posting the contest rules at the top of the sidebar would help. That way they'd be more visible and wouldn't be pushed down the page by new blog posts. People are less likely to follow directions if they have to search through the blog to find them.

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute, Witliz, I've read your blog. You aren't exactly Witliz-nice-guy. And the Snarklings are a fine bunch, only carrying kindling and torches for the public burning-at-stake once, longish ago. The postings here are mild mannered and mellow.

xiqay said...

This reminds me of garage sales here. No matter how big you make the signs that say "open at 8 AM. No early buyers" there are still people who show up at 7 and even 6 AM. Gosh. I don't like them.

Anonymous said...

Hey, witliz. I resent the "plain as Jane" statement.

M. G. Tarquini said...

Witliz Today:

It's Miss Snark. MISS Snark. It's not Ms. Snark, Mr. Snark or To Whom it May Concern. She is Miss Snark. She is the only Miss Snark and that is how she is to be addressed.

Why?

Because that's how she wants it.

HawkOwl said...

"Irregardless."

Dave - I love the irony in your anecdote. Did they ever pass the ISO audit?

Anonymous said...

We-ell...

Then there are the technologically illiterate (like me) who learn too late that when you have DSL (rather than a dial-up modem), "Send Later" is the same as send now--unless you do some type of computer voodoo....

Elektra said...

Irregarless is in the dictionary--it is therefore a word.

HawkOwl said...

Yeah, but then, "kwyjibo" is a word too. You can google it.

The thing with "irregardless" is that it makes you look stupid, because you're trying to say "regardless" but adding a prefix that negates it. Kinda like people who "unthaw" the roast before putting it in the oven. You know what they mean, but you're still gonna laugh about it. So saying "irregardless" when you're trying to give someone a dressing-down really ruins the mood.

off-topic but obsessed said...

what about "inflammable?"? is that any better than flammable?

irregardless, i prefer flammable. i'm with hawkowl. it sounds smarter.

and when did empathetic supplant empathic? or was it always thus?

Camilla said...

Here's what Merriam-Webster Online said about it:

Irregardless originated in dialectal American speech in the early 20th century. Its fairly widespread use in speech called it to the attention of usage commentators as early as 1927. The most frequently repeated remark about it is that "there is no such word." There is such a word, however. It is still used primarily in speech, although it can be found from time to time in edited prose. Its reputation has not risen over the years, and it is still a long way from general acceptance. Use regardless instead.

I'm inclined to take their advice.

Flammable and inflammable are a different case, I believe. Both have their origins in Latin. If you reel them back to their stems, there is a subtle difference in meaning between "flame" and "inflame". So...IMO they are both correct.

Camilla