Dear Miss Snark,
Hotel owner Ping Pong is a duckess on the move. She’s avoiding dealing with the pain of her father’s death, ignoring the wily charms of her ex-husband, and hiding from her mother and sister as often as possible. Unfortunately, her ex-husband has set up residence in a room of her hotel, her sister works part-time as her assistant, and her mother has just recruited her to host the 100th annual Duck Beak Bill Ball (DBBB). Her father is the only one she is successful at missing, and the one duck person she most yearns to see.
Donald Dewey is Ping’s ex-husband. A former con-man, with a chip on his shoulder towards royalty in general, he is the main suspect in recent threats regarding the DBBB. Intent on winning back his ex, he’ll do anything to clear his name, while doing his best to seduce her, and at the same time hiding a secret that if revealed, may make him lose her forever. (he's fowl!)
JUST DUCKY, complete at 80,000 words, is a mystery in a fantasy setting with a comic tone and a hint of romance. It is a first novel; however a chapter from the book was published as short story in the August 2006 issue of xxx.com
Please contact me by email, snail mail, or phone. Thank you for considering my story, and I look forward to hearing from you. (Thank you for your time and consideration works just fine. I could send you a smoke signal and you'd reply--one reason Miss Snark tries to keep from setting her hair on fire too often)
Ok, this is weird weird weird.
I love the Freddy the Pig books almost as much as I love my sleek new martini shaker so I'd read this.
Ping strutted down the street, moving to the beat of her own iPOD. Glancing up, she saw that the sky was threatening to rain. Sighing, she slapped a couple of buttons on the device. She picked up the pace, stalking the street as coolly and quickly as she could to the tune of ‘Fox on the Run’. After all, the rain may slide off her duck’s back easily enough, but her silk jacket and tails tended not to be so dismissive of precipitation.
Kicking the voluminous legs of her corduroys behind her, she reached her destination. Bundling herself and her pants into a section of a glass revolving door, she scooted inside just as the clouds let go of their tears to drench the sky and everything below. Ping untangled herself from her trousers and unplugged herself from her iPOD. She glanced around the hip, high-end hotel.
Duck-chicks and duck-dudes were either meandering or walking purposely around the lobby. Seeing that her lunch date had not arrived, she walked over and plopped into casually chic plush comfort. She hooked a leg over the chair arm and swung it lazily. She could perceive in a glance the purpose, intention, and mood of everyone within eyeshot around the room. Ping relaxed and closed her eyes most of the way. Head pillowed against the high back, she continued to survey the current population of the lobby of Hotel Higginbotham.
Ping’s eyes flew open, all the way. She looked to the left and up at the tall drake that loomed over her condescendingly. Sarcasm matched sarcasm as she shot back, “You’re one to talk!”
Donald’s eyes twinkled, and he reached out to tweak her beak playfully. She slapped his hand away, and he paused, hurt. Seeming to remember their rift, he shrugged in what a less cynical person than Ping would have taken as regretfully.
“You still hijacking a room in my hotel?” she asked, with cool sarcasm.
His grin was reflexive, but it did reach his eyes. That was something Ping now hated about her ex-husband. His ability to find something to laugh about in every situation. Including the fact that she hated him and wanted him out of her life. Shrugging, he answered, “Not at the moment.”
At Ping’s risen eyebrows, he held up a hand. “Right now I have a business meeting I’m late for.” He seemed to want to reach out again, and Ping tensed. Reading her, he smiled again, and turned away.
She turned her attention from him, and scouted the lobby for trouble. Lost baggage, sunburned guests, anything at all that would allow her to take her mind off of him.
This is all tell not show. You're over explaining (she reached her destination)
You've got to take out the obvious clunkers like "the sky was threatening to rain". If you don't know why that is a clunker...Turkey City Lexicon is your friend.