I got your fan fic riiiiiight here

Mr Clooney and Mr Pitt Visit Miss Snark.


Kimber Li said...

Love ya, Miss Snark, but these two do nothing for me. Give me Viggo. Uh, but tell my husband.

GutterBall said...

Call me crazy, but I love that movie. Those guys are soooo smooth. I don't love 'em, but I do enjoy watching them schmooze.

Pepper Smith said...

LOL! Someone's going to write that one for you, I'm sure.

Haven't you already had fanfic of sorts written about you?

Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Snark,
When you're through reading that novel to me in bed, I'll rub your feet.
My houseboy, Brad, will be available to make us breakfast in the morning.

a. m. burns said...

Sorry to mention this, but their expressions suggest they are staring at nakedness. I'm a little curious to know what was cropped out of that pic and if there is an accompanying video floating around the web.

Anonymous said...

I suppose they're handsome enough - for humans. No horns though. And, honestly? Just two legs? How does your species function?

Our mistress assures me that Mr. Pitt and Mr. Clooney both have cute tails. There is nothing quite like a qute tail on a male.

Nan (Mrs. Bill E.) Goat

Miss Snark said...

Bill has a wife?
I thought he was in lust with the nubian down the road?
I'm sooo behind on my ranch romance.

Anonymous said...


WannabeMe said...

Brad: We'll up your agent fee 40% if you sign now.
Miss Snark (bored): Can I get a refill?
George: But I must be honest. It'll be long nights -
Miss Snark (perks): Hm?
Brad: Overnight travel -
Miss Snark (interested): Can you repeat the exact purpose of this project again?
George: Undercover research on the day spas of Europe -
Brad: Mainly Italy, France, Spain, and other places where George owns a villa -
George: At some places we'll have to pose as a newly weds going in for couple's stuff.
Miss Snark (skeptical but hopeful): Exactly. What. Stuff?
Brad: Mud baths, seaweed wraps, salt scrubs -
Miss Snark (grabs pen): Where do I sign again?

Sonarbabe said...

Miss Snark, you take George and I'll take Brad. I'm sorry. In that particular pic he looks pretty darn yummy. Mr. Sonarbabe will just have to understand. LOL.

Christine said...

am burns:

They're not staring at nakedness. If I'm not mistaken (always a possibility), it's a still from Oceans 11 where they're having lunch with Reuben and trying to convince him to finance their planned heist. He refuses, but then agrees once he realizes that they're planning on hitting three casinos owned by his rival Terry Benedict.

I liked that movie. I'm a big fan of heist movies and large ensemble casts.

Anonymous said...

Ah, and isn't it men like these that make you glad you're a woman?

Shiver me timbers, Wee Geordie, and anything else that takes your fancy . . .

Ah . . .

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

A girl can dream...

Christine said...

I wanna read it when you're done. :)

Anonymous said...

Look at the adoring look on Clooney's face as he casts his gaze on MS!

Looks like all that stalking has finally paid off.

Anonymous said...

She's talking deal points, but all I can think of are her personal assets, George thought.

Miss Snark, with a charming white poodle in pink tam at her heels, put pen and paper on the table in front of her.

"Sign here, gentlemen," she said.

Brad picked up the pen and dashed a handsome loop across the book contract.

George pulled his chair nearer. His knees brushed Miss Snark's silky nylons. Miss Snark's couture perfume, musky with a hint of floral, tickled his nose. He leaned close.

"Could you go over that with me again?" he asked.

"Mr. Clooney, I'm sorry, but I have an appointment across town in 10 minutes."

"Perhaps you'd be available this evening?" George looked straight into Miss Snark's eyes. "For dinner?"

"Perhaps I could meet you somewhere."

"I'll pick you up at 8. I know the place," he said. He let his fingers graze her arm for a moment.

Miss Snark tucked the contract neatly into her case. Her stillettos echoes on the pavement as the poodle pulled on the leash. Dog and owner disappeared into a cab.

You want me, thought George. I'm going to play this right. The book is nothing. Your poodle is the perfect sire for my Princess Charming.

Anonymous said...

kimber an, I'm with you on Viggo, although I think Orlando's got even him beat -- but you gotta admit George can pour on the charm. That smile!

Loriba said...

Is it wrong that I used to have that picture as my wallpaper?

On my PC obviously, not my bedroom. :-)

Southern Writer said...

Mr. Pitt while gazing at Miss Snark: I'd kick her out of bed for eating crackers.

Mr. Clooney agreeing: Yes, and do her on the floor. Twice, at least.

Miss Snark said...

Miss Snark faints dead away.

vw: ooooooooooooooolala

Kim said...

I'm throwing in my vote for Viggo as well - but only when he's tall, dark and handsome - the blonde look just doesn't do it for me. :-)

Anonymous said...

The strangest thing happened to me at lunch today. I was sitting at a local outdoor cafe having lunch by myself and two men came and sat down at my table.....
I gave them the death look, but they just casually stayed at my
table and wouldn't leave me alone.
I shined up my ring on my married finger, then placed my hand
on the table and I hinted to them that I was married and that
I was not interested in them.
Luckily for me they got the hint and left, but thankfully the
whole thing was captured on the Cafe's camera.

I'm sending you this picture as a warning.............. just in case
they try and pick you up too.

Honestly, some men think they are God's gift.

Anonymous said...

I already know the key elements of Miss Snark's fan fiction novel:

George, Brad, Bombay Sapphire & the Kama Sutra.

Anonymous said...

I wanted to sound off a Clooney sighting alert at the Toronto Film Festival but I could only come up with a Pitt and Damon alert. Honest to Dog, I searched really hard!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, there is someone missing from the picture.

Where is KY? As in Killer Yapp, not the other KY that comes to mind when viewing this photo.

I heart KY

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark,
Please stop stealing my personal photos. I'm really getting fed up with this. You and I both know that you took this off my mantel, erased the autograph that clearly said, "To Lauri, had a great time visiting you at your pool, XOXO George and Brad," and deleted me from the scene. Shame on you.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Most females within ten miles of Bill have been his "wife." Nan E. was his first, but he's got a crush on the French Alpine doe next door.

Goats are not monogamous. But Nan E. is the only one that consistently claims him as hers. No accounting for taste.

Brooke said...

Ah... I see the address was most helpful. How delightful. Do send Mr. Pitt my way when you're done with him, would you?

Anonymous said...

Me thinks Ms. Snark has been fired upon and taken one in the heart from the "Cloo Gun".

Anonymous said...

The tall gentleman with the grey hair approached Miss Snark. People were staring. It's not everyday George Clooney was caught with a ruffian dog. At the end of a leash was a wild fluffy white pooch, snarling and peeing on trees and taxis.

"Is this your dog?" he asked.
" Killer Yapp. I see he's fetched you," she said.
"Your dog ate my script," he said, shaking the dog loose from his trouser leg.
"Obviously," she said. "It needed editing."
"Well, who are you?" asked George.
"Your nightmare or your dream," said Miss Snark, taking Killer Yapps leash and giving him a Greenie.
George stared at Miss Snark's hand, recognizing the signet ring on her right pinky.
"Snarkster?" he asked. "I haven't seen you since we hid in the pews during catechism."
"Tossing spitwads at Sister Guadalupe," she said.
"Gawd, you were hot," he said, remembering when they were young.
"Still am," said Miss Snark, taking his arm.

Carrie Lofty said...

Would I be terribly greedy to want them both? Maybe at once? Coz I could make do with just one, if I seem selfish....

(fans self; has happy thoughts to propel self through laundry tasks)

S William said...

I took that picture, and I can tell you for a fact that Miss Snark wasn't naked. That were smiling because she...er...had gas. How uncouth!

Anonymous said...

Meh, Viggo's only hot when he hasn't showered... which is weird, and quite gross. But it's true. When he was still Strider in Lord of the Rings, wandering about in the wild and rolling around in the brush, damn. But after that? I saw him clean and it was highly disappointing.

And I usually like them clean. I guess there has to be at least one exception.

none said...

When Miss Snark faints, do we splash her face with water or gin?

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

G: Ain't she the hottest thing you've ever seen?

B: Damn, if only I'd met Miss Snark before I impregnated that chick I just had that baby with. She and I could have REALLY made beautiful babies. But now I'm stuck with a mortgage, a bitchy woman with way too many tattoos who's trying to save the world one Cambodian at a time. I got three kids under my belt, haven't worked in months. Shit. I missed the boat on this one.

G: Now you see why I'm still single, Brad? I can't get this woman out of my head. If only I could get her drunk enough, she'd be mine, all mine. Grab the Bombay, will ya... Oh Miss Snark, come on over... Georgie needs his pudding and pie!"

BradyDale said...

I'm so glad that we can expand your horizons just as you expand ours, Miss Snark.

Kim said...

Oh my God, s.m o'shea - you read my mind! I love him as Strider, not so much in... say, Hidalgo. Thank God I'm not the only one - lol! :)

wv - wzrhed - sounds like a serious medical condition

miriam beetle said...

miss snark, i know you hate getting these buggy-website complaints, but something happened (in firefox) yesterday which is making it impossible to enjoy your blog as i did.

used to be, clicking on the time-of-posting at the bottom of the entry would bring me to the permanent entry link, with the entry & all the comments.

now, clicking there just puts the enrty in question on the top of the page, & i don't see any comments. to view the comments, i have to click through to the comment link, & it does that awful blogger thing of dropping a pop-up:

"are you sure you want to navigate away from this page? press ok to continue, or cancel to stay on the page"

& i have to click on it before i can navigate away, to the next post! it's very sucky. & i've tried refreshing the page to no avail.

Anonymous said...

Be still my heart.

Beth said...

Viggo's only hot when he hasn't showered... which is weird, and quite gross. When he was still Strider in Lord of the Rings, wandering about in the wild and rolling around in the brush, damn.

It wasn't the dirt, of course. It was the aroma of danger he emanated. To a woman, no sexier perfume has ever been made.

Anonymous said...

Isnt this funny? Just yesterday I found some fanfic that involved Brad Pitt, Viggo Mortenson, and a mention of George Clooney. I'll post the link it that's allowed here. Now, take heart. I know fanfic is usually cringingly bad, but these stories are brilliant, very well written. Warning, not for the faint of heart. (Thanks to Ms Genoese for originally posting this link on her blog)


Anonymous said...

Southern Writer--great fan fic. Most in the spirit of this blog and the divine Miss Snark.

My apologies for mine--it got out of control at the end and went off in a direction I did not want. Much like my puppies, who need lessons from Killer Yapp in etiquette.

Glad to see you revived to post again, Miss Snark.

Anonymous said...

Not to snub dear George, but isn't he dating that chick Ellen Barkin? But then again, the rumours fly every time he starts a new movie. There's still hope for you, Miss Snark. As if there was any doubt.

Ah, yes... Viggo. He looks much better in dark, long, stringy hair and a half-grown man-beard. Remember the kiss in Return of the King? I replayed it over and over and my heart skipped every time.

Orlando's a child.

Hey! Everybody forgot Johnny Depp! C'mon! In honour of the dying hours of Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Cripes, these verification words are getting longer: irevqwog - something you put in the grog.

Anonymous said...

Yanno, with all the Snarklings spread all over the world, we should have an Clooney World Tracking System in place by now.

The C.W.T.S. shall keep Miss Snark informed of Mr. Clooney's whereabouts at all times.

As the blips reach Manhattan, it's RED ALERT!!! BEEP! BEEP!

krw3b said...


What a man-sandwich.

Kim said...

Wouldn't that be a man-wich? :>

Argh... I can't believe I forgot Johnny Depp - loved him in Pirates, but he's absolutely adorable in Sleepy Hollow...

Christine said...

When she's done writing and polishing she can sell it to Ellora's Cave.


astrologymemphis.blogspot.com said...

Thanks xiqay. I enjoyed yours, too. Wish you had left a link to your blog.

Mr. Clooney to Miss Snark: Do I scare you? Do you want me to?

Nichole said...

Okay...Miss Snark, you can keep George and Brad (yummy as they are) I have a long time love affair with Viggo. I am not one of those who only like him as Aragorn, I have loved him since waaaaay back. Blonde, Brunette, clean, dirty, artist, blouse man, drill sargent...I love him any way and every way!

Ellen said...

Miss Snark, I think George Clooney is waiting for you to bring him some chicken soup. Check it out:

Anonymous said...

When Viggo was on set in New Zealand, there was a shortage of equestrians, so most of the 'horsemen' were actually women with glued-on beards. Apparently, Viggo had befriended one of the extras and found himself becoming attracted to 'him' and couldn't figure out why. He didn't know she was a girl. He must have been relieved when he found out.

This was a story told by one of his costars in the special features on the DVD.