9.22.2006

I'm going to be a famous writer one day, you just wait and see Miss Snark

One of the greatest curses of all time: I hope you get what want.

19 comments:

Jane Doe said...

Priceless! A writer whose work has stood the test of time (my English teacher's definition of a classic), for all the wrong reasons.

Gawd, but I'd love to be in that pub.

Dave said...

Remember Red Skeleton's great commentary on the Bum who turned out not to be a mere bum, but a role model NOT to aspire to. . .

Honestly, "evil-minded snapshots of spleen" brightened up my sick, sad, constipated day.

;) {grin}

McKoala said...

Awesome.

Corn Dog said...

Speaking of laughing out loud, I was sitting in a computer class today listening to the instructor drone on and on, when I had the brilliant idea of discreetly opening a browser and reading Miss Snark and the snarklings. I horse laughed right at one of the instructor's pregnant pauses. To which he added, I didn't know electronic signatures were so funny. I slunk behind my terminal and closed the browser.

Anonymous said...

Everytime someone says, "this writing is terrible," I always think, "oh, quit exaggerating. It can't be that bad..." then I read it.
Yep. Terrible.

Anonymous said...

Forgot to mention how this reminds me of something my boyfriend always says:
"It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others."

http://www.despair.com/mis24x30prin.html

Anonymous said...

Makes Danielle Steele look like a gifted, talented writer.

Kim said...

evil-minded snapshots of spleen??? Gave me a grin but WTF does that even MEAN?

I suddenly feel a lot more confident in my own writing - :)

Sue O'Doherty said...

Okay, but (from the article): "Her passion for alliteration in her romantic novels -- Irene Iddesleigh, Delia Delaney and Helen Huddleston -- attracted many mocking admirers among fellow writers like Tom Sawyer and Aldous Huxley."

I hadn't realized Tom Sawyer wrote books. I'll have to check them out.

Catja (green_knight) said...

I looked at the sample and thought 'so what'?

Those mainstream readers are wimps.

If you want read-aloud fun, try Jim Theis' immortal _Eye of Argon_:

The weather beaten trail wound ahead into the dust racked
climes of the baren land which dominates large portions of the
Norgolian empire. Age worn hoof prints smothered by the sifting
sands of time shone dully against the dust splattered crust of
earth. The tireless sun cast its parching rays of incandescense
from overhead, half way through its daily revolution. Small
rodents scampered about, occupying themselves in the daily
accomplishments of their dismal lives. Dust sprayed over three
heaving mounts in blinding clouds, while they bore the burdonsome
cargoes of their struggling overseers.


http://www.dcs.gla.ac.uk/SF-Archives/Misc/Eye_Of_The_Argon

Bella Stander said...

I rather like "auctioneering agents of Satan." I think it should be the motto of the National Book Critics Circle. Maybe I'll suggest it.

GutterBall said...

I'm reminded of The Three Amigos. She's not famous; she's INfamous. That's better than just plain famous.

Rei said...

The Eye of Argon is classic. You omitted the best part -- the dialogue. ;)

---

"Thou hast need to occupy your time, barbarian",questioned the female?
"Only if something worth offering is within my reach." Stated Grignr,as his hands crept to embrace the tempting female, who welcomed them with open willingness.
"From where do you come barbarian, and by what are you called?" Gasped the complying wench, as Grignr smothered her lips with the blazing touch of his flaming mouth.

(etc)

Niamh Sage said...

"Evil-minded snapshots of spleen" - brilliant! Now *there's* someone who made a habit of dipping her hand into the word bag without looking first :D I think that just ousted "pile of fetid dingo's kidneys" as my favourite insult.

mahukey said...

I am soooooooooooooo happy to have an example of such fine upstanding work, not to live up to!
Argon...I actually gagged! Yes, I did. I gagged.

Peg Silloway said...

What, no one mentioned the "nattering nabobs of negativity" of Spiro Agnew? Sure, it was politics, but some of the best comedy comes from that realm. Or am I the dinosaur for remembering? OK, I'll go semi-quietly back to hang out with my "pinko professor."

Pennyoz said...

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying."

Woody Allen

Class factotum said...

"Makes Danielle Steele look like a gifted, talented writer."

And Danielle is laughing her way to the bank. She must be doing something right.

Alan said...

There was me thinking that the best insult of the moment was Aussie Mark Latham's "a conga line of suckholes" in relation to the serving government. Then a cracker from pre-1939 trumps it!