9.19.2006

Just a few reminders

1. Miss Snark aspires to be Queen of the Known Universe. Until her coronation, she is not responsible for problems you have with google, or blogger or firefox and other web browsers.

She appreciates you will be hopelessly morose should you be deprived of your daily dose of snark, so remember that MissSnark.com is a mirror of the blog. (Thanks to the Wren!)


2. Miss Snark is not responsible for comments made by other people on other blogs.
Killer Yapp, yes; but he is not a person.
He is a dog.
When he calls you a bitch, it's a compliment.
If someone else calls you a bitch, or an orange, or a serial scrubber, and they found you through this blog, don't write to me to complain. Well, you can if you want but see #3.

3. If you email Miss Snark and say "this isn't for the blog" what I see is "the rules don't apply to me". ALL email is blog fodder. Say it with me "ALL" . Get it?
Saying "there is an expectation of privacy" does not make it so.
EVERYTHING is blog fodder.
Especially whiny complaints.

35 comments:

judy said...

Getting some snarky email?

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Huh? Is Sarah the Unknown still whining?

Marlo said...

Hmm, seems like the competition for Nitwit of the Day is getting fierce...

So ugly that the participants are even trying to withdraw their names from the running in a devious effort to snatch the booby prize...

BuffySquirrel said...

I knew I shouldn't have sent that pail of SuperSnarky Gin. It was a moment of weakness.

murm said...

yeah, i figured it had nothing to do with you, the blogger bugginess. but i wanted to ask, just in case you had changed something recently.

& here i am with my dose of snark, so i am no longer morose! thank you!

Anonymous said...

4. George is reserved for Miss Snark. Anyone else here wishing to have a piece of George will find their MS shredded by her recent graduate intern from Vassar, who she has named, "Scooter Yapp."

Robin L said...

It sounds like there are some emails that you need to post!!!

M. G. Tarquini said...

Dammit. I miss all the good stuff.

theraspberrycordial said...

If you tell a journo or a newspaper editor that something is off the record, then according to the hack's code of ethics it must indeed remain off the record

Does this mean a literary agent is less trustworthy than a journalist?
eeek!!

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

I'm always clueless. Mostly. But I see this first as a response to that thing in the comment chain about browsers. Then it reveals that there's at least one whiney-butt poster who privately emailed our dear Snarkie and complained about what was said on another blog, said blog probably being her own. She blamed Miss Snark for the edgy-voiced scolding she received. Finally, Miss Snark disclaims all responsibility for the foolishness of others, which leaves me free to be foolish all on my own.

Rule 1 in the Rules of Internet Life: Post thou not most foully on thine own or another's blog or thine ill wishes, foolishness or snippiness wilt return and bite thine butt.

Rule 2 in the Rules of Internet Life: Be thou properly obsequious to agents, editors and their minions because they sufferest no foolishness to pass without comment or due scolding. Amen

Gloss on Rule 2 as found in Manuscript 7 of the Lost Works of Gar: "Don't be mean, or those damn pixies will bite your butts. It's about as high as they can reach."

Miss Snark said...

Yo,Raspberry,

A journalist asking questions and getting answers off the record agrees to the arrangement. No one in their right mind says "this is off the record" and proceeds to spill their guts UNLESS the journo has said "ok".

Herewith the difference: I haven't agreed. If you don't want it on the blog, don't send it.

If you don't want it on the blog DON'T SEND IT.

Those are the groundrules.

You can't decide they don't apply to you cause you don't want them to. You can't call Miss Snark something really gross...like yanno.. a cat loving sweetie pie, and not expect to see it posted and sneered upon.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Dear Rasp,

You miss the point. You submit to a blog. There is no "private email" and no expectation of privacy other than by Miss S.'s sufferance.

Arghhh, avast there matey! Be thou not the fool! Belay that talk. It be mutinous!

Anonymous said...

Okay. Before I discovered Miss Snark's blog, I was constantly frustrated with my catch-22 situation. I had questions that only an agent could answer, but I didn't have an agent.

Once, out of desperation, I wrote to M. J. Rose. I, of course, received a very good answer and have been a fan of her writing and blog ever since.

Miss Snark has answered every one of my emails on her blog (at least a half a dozen to date) - and, most amazingly - never anointed me Nitwit of the Day. (Maybe she was holding out for Nitwit of the Month or worse.)

Thank Dog, Thank Dog, Thank Dog for Miss Snark. She is a lifesaver and a fantastic human being.

She is also waaaaaaaay too good for that Clooney guy. She needs to hold out for someone younger who will appreciate her sassy, good humor, her brilliance and her kindness (despite her protestations that she is cold-hearted as an agent. I don't believe that for a second!)

I'm signing this anonymously, but I swear on the head of my beloved dog, that I'm not Miss Snark. I'm someone who comments frequently on this blog under two different names, but I don't want to use them in this comment.

miss bennet said...

OOOH, I was all set to respond to raspberry cordial with the facts about "off the record," but Miss Snark has already made my point.
It only works if all parties agree to the terms before the beans are spilled. Even so, it's usually a stupid idea to tell a journalist anything you want to keep quiet. Even dumber to put it in writing!

Anonymous said...

Becoming Queen of the Known Universe is a lofty ideal, but I applaud you for trying. Maybe simply by getting the word out you will rise to that position.

On the other hand, having a rich fantasy life is often good enough.

Anonymous said...

"She appreciates you will be hopelessly morose should you be deprived of your daily dose of snark, so remember that MissSnark.com is a mirror of the blog."

Do you mean, "She understands..."?

Anonymous said...

"3. If you email Miss Snark and say "this isn't for the blog" what I see is "the rules don't apply to me".

Periods, commas etc. go inside quotation marks.

"ALL email is blog fodder. Say it with me "ALL" . (There should be a comma between "me" and "ALL.") Get it?"

Manic Mom said...

I'd love to hear the comments that sparked this post! More nitwit wannabes I suppose.

Anonymous said...

Good move, anonymous #13. Nobody likes a sycophant.

theraspberrycordial said...

Oh that kind of logic reminds me of being at the supermarket with my mum when I was little. She'd say, 'If you ask for something, you won't get it.'

So if I asked for that bag of lollies I wouldn't get it, cos I asked for it. If I didn't ask, I wouldn't get it cos I hadn't asked for it...

David said...

anonymous, the rule about periods and commas going inside the quotation marks is modern American usage but not a universal rule in English. Such rules vary from one English-speaking country to another.

So there.

Oh, and this comment is not intended for use on the blog.

Elektra said...

Miss Bennet? Another P&P fanatic or just a coincidence?

Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Snark,

Certainly all my e-mails will be kept off the blog.
By the way, they were out of eucalyptus foot cream. I bought rose instead.

Yours,
George

blaironaleash said...

'"3. If you email Miss Snark and say "this isn't for the blog" what I see is "the rules don't apply to me".

Periods, commas etc. go inside quotation marks.'

Not if you're a limey, they don't. Gawdblessyer guvnor!

'"ALL email is blog fodder. Say it with me "ALL" . (There should be a comma between "me" and "ALL.") Get it?" '

I have - very tentatively - questioned Miss Snark's use of the English language once, maybe twice. If this is how it comes across, I apologise for being a snooty pigpoopyhead and will desist with immediate effect.

M. G. Tarquini said...

Somebody called you a a cat loving sweetie pie?

Avoist and Alas me matey! Let us hoist his petard from canard to flambé and thereafter, all points south.

Signed,
A Friend

P.S. This comment is only for the comment trail. It's okay, if you want to put it on another comment trail, but it's not for your blog. Or my blog. Or any of my friend's blog.

oh f*ck it. I'll have my attorney draw up an agreement. George Clooney will courier it over tomorrow.

Alice said...

Raspberry Cordial - your analogy is apt. Your mother had the choice of whether to buy you the lollies, and chose not to, sensibly responding to neither whining nor reverse psychology. Miss Snark similarly chooses not to keep emails confidential when sent to her blog. Presumably you're an adult now - buy your own lollies, use your own blog, and stop complaining!

BuffySquirrel said...

If you're going to nitpick Miss Snark, a dangerous undertaking at the best of times, it might be a good idea to consult your dictionary first.

appreciate

1. verb trans Estimate rightly; perceive the full force of; understand.

Diana Peterfreund said...

Journalists are real people. They have addresses and phone numbers and you may see them at cocktail parties.

"Miss Snark" is a blog persona. You can't write to "Miss Snark" outside of the blog the same way you can't query "Miss Snark."

I'm sure that the person who is Miss Snark does indeed have private correspondances with people who know her address or phone number or run into her at cocktail parties. These people know who she is.

To the rest of us, she is a blog.

Anonymous said...

I like sycophants. They're much more entertaining (and more dangerous) than regular elephants.

Anonymous said...

the rule of "off the record" witha journalist is not so cut and dry. I am a reporter and constantly talk to people "off the record." what that means is I can use what they tell me in a story, but I can not attribute it to them by name or in a way that gives up their identity.

there are many variations on what "off the record," "on background" and "not for attribution" mean, but they all generally mean you will use what that person tells you without identifying that person to the reader.

just to clear that up, since most people have absolutely no idea how reporters actually work.

Barb from Barbistan said...

Didn't Rev. Sun Myung Moon get crowned Queen of the Universe last year in Washington DC?

Perhaps Miss Snark will have to take a number. I think there's a waiting list for the position.

Kanani said...

I think we should all be glad that literary agents, unlike journalists agents, don't ask them to go onto "Dancing With The Stars" in order to promote their books.

Anonymous said...

"Not if you're a limey, they don't. Gawdblessyer guvnor!"

Is Miss Snark a limey?

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Oh, dear. Rasp, your reasoning suffers from several logic flaws. Principally, your last statement was a false-choice or correlative-based fallacy.

Bad news for you. You can't wiggle outa it, bub. Submit and be snarked. No choice.

mahukey said...

Snark goddess: A journalist asking questions and getting answers off the record agrees to the arrangement. No one in their right mind says "this is off the record" and proceeds to spill their guts UNLESS the journo has said "ok".


HAHAHAHA!

OH, tell that to the people I have interviewed and they are all talk, talk talk...oh by the way that wasn't for the record!
HAHAHA!
That happens at least once a month, at least!