Miss Snark is in the slush pile

1. "My unpublished credits include" unpublished credits is an oxymoron. They aren't credits if they aren't published. There are no exceptions to this. None.

2. "My book is the first/only about X". You might want to google X, and check X on Amazon. If I do it and find books that show you haven't done your research, I'm going to wonder what else you haven't done.

3. I hate response form postcards. I hate them. I hate them even more when they have little cute things like "never darken my mailbox again". Don't be stupid about your work, ok?

4. "this was edited by Y, who edited this famous writer and that one too". Having the same paid freelance editor doesn't count for much with me. Actually, it doesn't count for anything. Don't tell me who you paid to edit your work. Don't tell me you paid to have it edited at all. Make me think you might be a good writer all on your own.

5. "I know you'll like this". No you don't.

(please note the time of day this was posted.
That's when I'm reading your query letters.
Most of us are reading in the off hours, just fyi)


Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Bill E. Goat: ... But Mistress, my book is the very first paranormal goat fantasy. It's all about this handsome goat who looks a lot like me who can teleport cute ...

Me: Oh, shush, Bill, I don't want to hear it!

Mark said...

I don't think your time stamp is turned on other than the date.

whitemouse said...

Since I don't see a time stamp either, I'll just note for my fellow snarklings that this showed up close to 10 PM, New York time.

Chumplet said...

Hmmm... I thought you were busy. Good thing I wasn't one of the nitwits. Yet.

rabs said...

I see a timestamp! It says 8:50pm.

Of course, I'm not sure if that shows Miss Snark's timezone or mine (I'm in Central, not Eastern).

But I think that the point is evening -- after business hours.

Jean said...

rabs said, "But I think that the point is evening -- after business hours."

On a Friday night, when Miss Snark would most likely far prefer to be with Mr. Clooney.

M.E Ellis said...

5. "I know you'll like this". No you don't.



Pennyoz said...

What's sad about these people is that if invited they'd be expecting to REALLY see the etchings.