9.12.2006

Please dog, let this be deadpan humor

Dear Miss Snark.

I have read parts of your blog from time to time. What I would like to know is if you provide literary representation. If you are, I would love to query. I find having someone with a no bullshit attitude like yours is strangely comforting and empowering. Especially when battling such a competitive agent/publishers market.

Let me know.



You might want to read the blog posts directly below this.
Is it clear yet?

Let me know.



PS The funny smell drifting your way is the scent of powder used in the clue-cannon.

24 comments:

writerdog said...

Clue Cannon.

I like the image; subtle, yet effective, you hope.

Chumplet said...

Every time you run a crapometer, or someone refers to Miss Snark on their blog, you get a whole mess of newbies with knee-jerk reactions to the stuff they see on this blog.

They see what they want to see - an amusing and witty agent. They have a sudden urge to work with said agent, in spite of the tongue-in-cheek abuse.

They ignore the warning signs. It's inevitable.

Another example of culling the herd: putting a warning sign on those big pieces of cardboard you put on your dashboard to keep out the sun: "Do not operate vehicle while this device is in place."

Duh.

Sue said...

Sheesh, if this isn't humor then it proves the overwhelming stupidity of mankind.

How can one be a writer if they are not a reader? How can one call themselves a reader if they don't understand what they read?

Janet Black said...

Is Miss Snark an agent? Well . . . yeah! Where ya been?

Nick said...

The best way to get Miss Snark as an agent is to drag out your Writer's Market and hope you get lucky. Of course, you'll probably never know if you do.

-Nick

Eileen said...

After reading your blog for some time I realize there is only one option- a Sally Struthers type sponsorship program. Yes for 80 cents a day- less than a cup of coffee, you can sponsor a needy writer for a clue. Your dollars will be used to get a clue for others who are less fortunate. There doesn't have to be this needless suffering.... Please send all money directly to me.

Dave Kuzminski said...

Vowels cost extra. ;)

Jocasta said...

I never agreed with my dad, may his soul rest in peace, when he said that 98% of the world's population is made of idiots. Now, today, for some obscure reason, I am starting to wonder...

delilah said...

I'm speechless. And that's saying a lot.

BuffySquirrel said...

First it was a clue gun. Now a clue cannon. We need to worry about this escalation--what's next, the clue nuke?

lizzie26 said...

I can just imagine this one:

Writer: "I think I might have an agent! Her name is Miss Snark."

Friend/Loved One: "Wow! Great! But, uh, what's her real name?"

Writer:"That IS her real name."

Friend,etc: "Where's she located?"

Writer: "I don't know. But she's got this great blog."

Friend,etc.: "So, she offered to rep you?"

Writer: "I think so. She said I won for Nitwit-of-the-Day!"

Dana Y. T. Lin said...

Oooo, my side aches from laughing so hard.

Anonymous said...

I never agreed with my dad, may his soul rest in peace, when he said that 98% of the world's population is made of idiots.

George Carlin said something along the lines of "Think how stupid the average american is. Then realize that half of them are stupider than that."

Anonymous said...

I can't resist.

This guy--I assume it's a guy--could be saying, "Thank you, Madam. May I have another?" WHACK. "Thank you, Madam. May I have another."

That's the step beyond the clue cannon.

Anonymous said...

I think he wants Miss Snark to give him a spanking.

Anonymous said...

I want a clue trebuchet.

Kim said...

The clue nuke - I love it!

What sort of cloud would THAT make when it was detonated?

salty said...

I had the same question.

Anonymous said...

Or a clue-apult.

Wabi Sabi said...

I haven't read a novel this year that has made me laugh and cry on the same day, but the MS Blog did.

Thank you, MS for the Kalidasa. On my last day at school (when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth) my friend made a speech during the leavers' ceremony that closed with the Kalidasa quote. She knew it was from the Sanskrit but she couldn't tell us who the poet was. 22 years later, it made my day to encounter that quote again. Thank you for solving that. It still makes me wobble. As did everyone's 9/11 comments. Thank you for those, everyone. Thank you MS for doing a week's work on top of a week's work. Thank you for the laugh-out-loud comment about the clue cannon.

Anonymous said...

You use powder in the clue cannon? How very retro.

BuffySquirrel said...

clue-apult...

Priceless!

Thin Red Lion said...

I would hate to represent a nitwit like that. Imagine, if she can't manage to pull the pertinent information out of this blog, how could she digest information provided by an agent or editor?

*blink* OooOOoo do you want me to make any changes? *blink* *vacant stare*

It's amazing to me how people try to write before they learn to read.

salty said...

... as the original writer. Careful who u listen to here, this place is full of people who fall all over themselves to jump on bandwagons.

If it's what you want to do, you'll figure it out.