Something to chew on while you wait

I got a good laugh this morning when I slithered over to Kristin's blog and saw someone biting her ass for being mean.

If you want mean, if you REALLY want your hopes and dreams crushed to powder, there's only one blog for you: this one.

Kristin, in case you need the clue bludgeon applied more than once, is really quite NICE.

I had to look the word "nice" up in the OED when I first heard it ('that wasn't very nice of you to crush my dreams Miss Snark') and lo and behold when I fished my 10x magnifier out of my reticule, by dog there was a picture of the divine Miss N right there.

Which is not to say her picture doesn't also appear when you look up Selachimorpha, sub section "deal" cause she's damn good at her job. You'd be a nitwit not to query Kristin if she reps what you write.


Anonymous said...

MS, I get the feeling that if you were 'nice', you'd be homeless on the corner living in a shelter made of lousy manuscripts from over-sensative writers.

Oh, and KY would have to panhandle.

Sherry Thomas said...

Speaking as one of her clients (largely because of Miss Snark's unqualified recommendation), I can tell you that while the Divine Miss N is nice as all get, she is also tough as nails.

And off topic, can I just say, though I know Miss Snark will clutch her gin pail to her heart in apoplexy upon hearing it: Miss Snark, you are a saint.

I can't imagine how much work the next Crap-O-Meter will be, even with only a 12 hour window. And no matter how much us Snarklings whimper and grovel in our undying gratitude, we're still not doing enough.

And to the snarklings, read all of them. I did, the previous ones. And it helped tremendously.

Angelle said...

Kristin?! Mean?!?

Oh, these people need to get out more! And develop hides made of something other than tissue paper.

Anonymous said...

Kids today seem to have ENTITLEMENT issues. They've been taught (by someone) that society owes them certain things: a new car to drive to school, to be on the honor roll (regardless of their real grades or how hard they worked) and to have the trendy clothes by which they're judged by their peers. Many times it's a kid's parent who comes into the place where I work and request an application for employment - for their kid. The manager ALWAYS says no. The kid has to come in and ask for it him/herself. Some parents lose their temper right there because "he's too busy to come in and ask." As my parents used to say, what's the world coming to?

December Quinn said...

But Miss Snark, the children are our future and it's the job of everyone in the world to kiss their little butts and make them feel all warm and tingly about themselves, didn't you know that? :rolleyes

Ryan Field said...

We were all NICE at one time.

First you're nice, then you evolve into NICE-with-an-edge, followed by not-so-NICE, which clearly leads to SNARKY-with-a-truly-spectacular-brain (some prefer quirky). After that it's all CAMP.

The Rejected Writer said...

Miss Snark, if only for the sake of your eyes, please consider getting the whole 20-volume OED. The print is larger, there are more words, and it will fit nicely into the space recently vacated by the fire-creating appliance.

I took several freelance gigs to afford it, and I've never regretted that for even a nanosecond.

PS: This morning, I ended up directly behind a young woman who flipped her jeep. I used to be a paramedic, so I stopped to render aid. In the middle of getting her out of the jeep, and trying not to get her blood on me, the following thought actually crossed my mind:

"I hope I can get out of here in time to submit to the Crapometer."

Not something one should be thinking at a moment like that. Your influence is pervasive.

Diane said...

Thank you for the link to an interesting blog.

B. Dagger Lee said...

My dear Miss Snark:

You are definately not "nice", and yet I suspect you of being kind.

B. Dagger Lee

WitLiz Today said...

5...4...4 no 3...2...2..n, aw screw it.


Even though I'm not participating I really feel excited for you all.

Just my luck though, even if I wanted to, my electricity went out and I didn't keep my battery recharged. Ernest you friggin' chump!

Thank you for your advice Ms Snark. You sure as hell do get around!

Oh, that wasn't meant for me you say? Shucks.

NitLiz Yada

Poohba said...

Oh, I am Nitwit of the Day!

After making sure my word count was exactly 750 and even doublechecking with an atomic clock to make sure it was after 1 p.m., I just sent off my crapometer entry with the formatting all screwed up. Every comma and quotation mark is one of those little marks that one of my childhood friend's mothers used to call "computer swearing."

Please take pity, Miss Snark. I confess I am an idiot.

And I'm guessing I better stay away from e-querying before I shoot myself in the foot some more.

Writerious said...

Oh, dear. And it's not as though this teen prodigy was treated any worse than any other writer who receives a rejection. Crushing her dreams, my Aunt Fanny! If all it takes is one flimsy form rejection to crush her dreams, they weren't very substantial dreams to begin with.

Publishing IS a business. It's not an ego-stroking service -- unless we're talking about the vanities.

Anonymous said...

The only one nicer than Kristin is Evil Editor. I'm sure in a former life, he was Shirley MacLaine's publicist.

And yes, it's well known that MissSnark is very mean. People have been known to do things like start online critique groups after having their egos minced up and tossed into pies.

Eric said...

Oh the waiting will be just great!

You see, fellow Snarklings, I'm really looking forward to being crowned King Nitwit.

For some reason...known only the gods of technology...Yahoo mail converted my crapometer entry into three different fonts. Was all in 12 New Roman until I punched send. Then, later when I checked to see that it went out, what did I see? My submission in three freaking different fonts.

Oh, it's crapometer for sure. It's on!

Now to see how my dog is coming along with my homework....

Kimber An said...

Thank you for stating what so many of us were thinking, Miss Snark.

Breca Halley said...

Some parents are bloody insane.

pjd said...

I think perhaps Agent K may be suffering from a "success disaster" of sorts. By now, every new writer knows how great she is, so she must receive a lot of new queries before anyone else. Particularly because she takes e-queries. That means that she may have the dubious distinction of being the first to reject many new writers.

Or, put another way, more new writers may be receiving their first rejections from Agent K. And we all remember our first times, don't we? The angst, the pain, the embarrassment and shame, the gnashing of teeth.

torches and pitchforks
misty-eyed mob, out for blood
rejected writers

Cathy said...

I'm going to defend the mother... a little.

First, let me state I would not write such a letter and risk ruining my child's chance at ever fulfilling a dream (were one of my children so inclined to set out on such an adventure).

I'm rather hoping for medical school for my children, or vetrinarian school, law school or Mercedes-Benz repair (anything to keep costs down).

Having said that, I want to point out that a perfectly sane and reasonable woman can act irrationally over her child's dashed hopes. Certainly it was the mother's job to coach the child in "try, try again," but, she obviously lost her head. Temporary insanity.

How would Ms. Snark feel if she tried to hire a pet-sitter for KY and then received a rejection e-mail/letter about how her dog didn't fit well with the sitter's current client roster, or the breed wasn't hot this year, or just wasn't good enough... house trained enough... etc., etc. Fill in your own critique here that the owner will take personally.

I think KN has a terrier (Jack Russell or Fox Terrier) and she seems to like him/her pretty well, too...

Would either of you ladies remember that pet sitting is just a business in such a case?

Manic Mom said...


Miss Snark--how many entries have you received??

mark said...

Hey, wait a second. Aren't editors and agents and other such types supposed to cringe about the word "nice," as having lost all of its meaning? (That is, unless you're using it in one of the older senses, e.g., finely drawn, as in "a nice distinction"; observing social-class separations or specifically upper-crust, as in "the nice set.")

Chumplet said...

Both my MS Word and my email program have the option to convert to plain text or clear formatting. I think I did this about ten times, just to make sure.

Then I copied and pasted and got rid of all the hard returns. My kids were itching to go to Blockbuster and I kept fiddling til I got it right.

Then I counted the words again, and got rid of the 'According to your submission guidelines etc.' because I know Miss Snark doesn't like that.
Then I discovered that I had some extra space to add more to the query. Words that EE didn't approve, and I'm probably shooting myself in the foot, but so what?

Am I rambling? Gawd, I'm so excited!

Molly Brown said...

You used the phrase "by dog" !?!? Did you need advice from me???

Kirsten said...

Re: equery formatting -- I don't know if this is foolproof, but when I composed my query, I first sent it to myself, to a couple of different email readers, to make sure it looked okay. There were a couple of characters that were converted to junk which I retyped in my email editor, then sent it again to make sure it looked right.

From that point forward, I used that copy to send to agents. I use the "forward" option, then strip out the extraneous header stuff my email program adds.