9.03.2006

That's all for tonight

I read back over the entries and my dear dog, the typos.
I hang my head in shame.

I've not been running spell check cause it's the spell check that coughs up the format issues. What you're seeing here is the unvarnished crap speller Miss SnarkForBrains really is.

We're 60% done at the 2/3 mark.
Tomorrow may be an interesting day to have the sidewalk gin concession!

KY and I are off to audition for the new reality tv show "American Psycho".

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yay gg Miss Snark!
Thanks for all your hard work.
It's educational.

marss said...

Miss Snark,

Chin up. No shame allowed. Not even over that incident with KY and the junk yard dog critique group. Guess there's a little tramp in all of us.

Virginia Miss said...

Thanks Miss Snark! I can't believe you are spending your entire holiday weekend doing this for your Snarklings. You rock.

I was relieved to see that today's submissions, overall, were of a higher caliber than yesterday's.
I see know why you are so insistent on having the letter + sample pages together. Some terrible queries with good pages, and some great queries with surprisingly flat prose.

I had a great time reading them. Hmm, maybe I should try for a job assisting a lit agent.

Debby G. said...

I think I need a life. I've spent the last two days on here. So fascinating! Thank you. I'm learning a lot.

Anonymous said...

"American Psycho." Seriously. You deserve either wings or a straitjacket, I'm not sure which.

Even some of the stuff you say is good, I read and think EEK..... and then realize that "good" to an agent has to equal "something I can sell, something people will buy, regardless."

Anonymous said...

While I would never think of going after an MFA, I have sat in on a few classes at different graduate schools. I can't imagine any course as helpful as one of Miss Snark's Crapometers. Carp on, Miss
Snark. We love you.

Anonymous said...

There's something encouraging here, in the sharing of dreck and pearls.

Tamyranev said...

The Crapometer has been incredibly instructive. After reading all the entries the past two days, I'm getting an inkling of how agents and editors feel after wallowing in the slush pile. Thanks for devoting the time to this!

Marva said...

I'm amazed! You got through sixty of these schlocky (and some good) letters/first pages.

I'm of mixed feelings on whether I wanted mine selected or not. It would be good to know if I have crap, but--dang it--mine sounded better than 50 or so of these.

Congrats, Miss Snark, on your endurance.

delilah said...

It's exhausting to watch the pace at which you're working.

What Miss Snark needs is a nice cold gin and tonic and a cozy, warm tub filled with bubbles and Clooney.

Siiiiiiiigh.

Sleep well.

River Falls said...

Congratulations to everyone who had the courage to submit their work to the Crapometer.

I doubt I would have been as brave.

Edyta said...

I'll take a pail of gin if nothing else is available; but after reading all of the entries so far, a vat of crisp, dry, Pinot Grigio sounds pretty good. Whatever fantasies I may have had about entering the world of agenting have long since been dashed. Likewise, prospecting.
I am a non-fiction writer, and have always believed in the old adage that that truth is stranger than fiction. After going through the crapometer, I'm not so sure.
Kudos to Miss Snark for having the intestinal fortitude to plow through what is mainly, and shockingly, dreck.

Chumplet said...

You. Are. Incredible. See ya tomaarraw.

Aarin said...

I'm not sure if my writing/novel is better, but my query avoids many of these pitfalls (plotless, run-ons, etc..)

I was more interested in the 1st page crit, as starting a novel has always been a challenge for me. Still, even reading her reactions to other people's novel hooks has given me more insight on do and do-nots.

Thanks again, Snarky!

JacklynKy said...

It is helpful to see the work of others and read all the comments. It's also generous of an agent to take time for such an effort.

OtterB said...

Higgledy piggledy
Miss Snark the oracle
Give us your take on
our manuscripts, do

Crap-or-not feedback is
Unsnarkegorically
Helpful, so thanks
And thank Killer Yap, too

srchamberlain said...

Bless you and your poodle. Given the quality of the Crapometer submissions this round, we would forgive you if you'd landed the part on American Psycho round about Crapometer #12.

Thomma Lyn said...

Another appreciative Snarkling chimes in: what a tremendous amount of work on a Labor Day weekend! Thank you, Miss S., for all you do.

Corn Dog said...

Thanks so much Miss Snark! This Crapometer University is great. I'm learning a lot.

McKoala said...

Sleep well. Don't dream of snarklings, craplings or 'ometers.

overdog said...

Thank you, Miss Snark. You're downright valiant. And to the Snarklings who entered, you are all very brave. Thanks to all for the learning experience.

Anonymous said...

So I'm new to your blog. A week or so ago, I decided to investigate and see what all the commotion was about. And I heard... read... about the crapometer, so here I am, checking it out. Wow! This is good stuff. Well, actually, most of it is not. The queries and samples, I mean. But getting to read them is an awesome opportunity. Thanks!

Robert Billing said...

Ye ghods! My dear Miss Snark, I never realised just how dogawful the slushpile was until I began reading the crapometer.

I don't know how to thank you for your efforts. Or perhaps I do.

A Royal Navy frigate loaded to the gunwhales with gin is even now steaming up the East River towards you...

Wabi Sabi said...

Have sat through many 'hands on,''interactive' workshops on show-not-tell, query letters, novel openings - and this Crapometer exercise outstrips them because it's a-p-p-l-i-e-d. And it's fun (for the bystanders, at least). Thank you Miss Snark.

Twitching for starting gun of final leg of Crapathon. On your snarks, get set . . .

helen said...

Just wanted to echo everyone else who's said how incredibly instructive this has been.

I'm amazed at how quickly you're getting through the entries, which is instructive in itself, as I guess that's how every agent has to deal with their slush pile - making quick judgements, not taking too long to mull over every query.

Of course, the downside to all this is that I'm now paralysed with fear at the prospect of ever approaching an agent.

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark must not concern herself with correct spelling at this time. Miss Snark could spell all the words backwards for all we care and we would buy mirrors.

We need the honesty, the professional opinion, the genuine snarkasm. For providing this service, Miss Snark is above reproach.

Of course, I can say that...my # didn't get in.

wonderer said...

Just adding my heartfelt thanks to the chorus. Beneath that snarky exterior lies one of the most generous people around...but don't worry, your loyal snarklings won't tell anyone. Hope you have a good, crapometer-free week. May your slush pile ever be small and of excellent quality!