Dear Miss Snark,
Last spring when my just-completed ms was as good as I could make it, I did my research and offered it to my Dream NYC Agent for representation. I was thrilled to hear Dream Agent loved the book - up to a point. There were problems with it. Dream Agent reminded me that Dream Agency only deals in 'big books' - meaning bestseller type books - and that mine could become one if I made some major revisions. I happened to agree, and made careful notes of our conversation, vowing to resend the ms after I reworked it. Dream Agent promised not to forget me, and I hung up the phone convinced it would be just a short time before I became a Big Shot Author.
Friends in the know, even an Editor at a NYC publisher, were most impressed that this particular Dream Agent had read my book. They said I should drop everything and revise.
That was last March.
I've just started to work on the revisions now. My question is, when I finally contact Dream Agent, do I offer any sniveling excuses for why it's taken so long? Does Dream Agent really care that I was on deadline to finish another book? Or that my inlaws came to visit and wore me out? Or are Dream Agents fed up with hearing this kind of crap from writers they've never met?
Hopefully this letter is not making you sick right down to your stilettos right now.
The only time I want to know about your inlaws is if they are aliens visiting from outer space and the book you were finishing is your memoir "Alienation of Affections".
Other than that, "herewith" is the only thing I want to read.