10.04.2006

Crapometer announcement

Crapometer will resurface at the end of December; sometime after December 15th.
There will be a couple days advance notice.

You will need two things:

1. a 100 word hook for your novel. A hook answers the question: why do I want to read this.

2. 500 words-the first 2-3 pages of your novel.

Everyone who enters will first send the hook.
I'll post them all.
I'll tell you which ones hooked me.

I'll critique the ones that hooked me.
Debate, of course, will ensue.

I figure the hook part will weed out the folks who jump in unprepared, and still give people who aren't quite ready for prime time a shot at seeing why.

Thanks to all of you who contributed your thoughts on the qualifier question. You helped me a lot.

38 comments:

Jim Winter said...

SNAKES ON A PLANE fanfic. 'Cept different.

Did I break the crap-o-meter already?

Anonymous said...

Seriously. You are amazing. Thanks for even thinking about going "there" again.

cudd said...

Oh wow, already willing to endure that again? I admire your constitution, o.O

Also, I think this set-up should be a lot more user friendly, for both the people entering and the people trying to learn from the entries. Awesome idea, I'm looking forward to it, :)

whitemouse said...

Woe and dejection!

I will be on vacation.

:::sobs:::

Deirdre said...

You're a brave and generous soul.

Anonymous said...

Action/Adventure
There are snakes! on the plane!!

And George Clooney is sitting in first class, when he hears them slithering in tourist class!

He commands the drink cart with all the booze and finds the dry vermouth, the sapphire gin. GC mixes them up into multiple shakers. Then he douses the snakes with the martinis and they fall in a heap, just by the hem of the curtain separating the two classes.

GC takes the toothpicks with the green olives and spears those suckahs through the eyeballs, while looking gorgeous in his white dinner jacket.
Not a hair out of place!

GC saves first class.

Of course, you want to read this book. Who wouldn't? It has George, martinis, a white dinner jacket and a part for you in the movie, Miss Snark.

Kim said...

Wow - did you lose a bet? Owe a favor? Does someone have incriminating photos? Short-term memory loss? There has to be SOME reason why you're willing to endure another crapometer so soon!

BTW, thanks! Maybe I'll make the cut this time :)

siobhann grey said...

Wow, Santa's gonna give you several pails of gin this year. This crap-o-meter will be the bestest present ever. Sure beats the hell outa the coal I normally get.

Robin L. said...

YAY!!!!! Thank you!!! It's perfect timing, too - I should be done with all my revisions by then. YAY!!!

Aarin said...

That's for bringing this back. It's always a help, even if/when I'm not selected.

That being said, it'll be a fun challenge with the 100 word hook. My query is only 180 words with the extras, so it'll be fun seeing how to condense that even more to make the cut.

NitWitness said...

Hmmmm....maybe I'll contribute something this time, just to see Miss Snark's hair aflame. The Yule season is the perfect time for a cozy fire, ya know.

Manic Mom said...

Whitemouse--can't you prepare your submission and have someone send it in for you while you're on vacation?

Hell, I'd do it for you even.

And Miss Snark, can we submit for more than one ms?

Kelley Bell said...

Crapometer: noun

1)A shiny lure with a very sharp hook.

2)The World's only human fishing lure shaped like Stileto heels.

3)The pit of hellish dispair for novice dreamers.

Dee said...

I'm so excited...wow...yes...yes...
wish it was December already.

katiesandwich said...

Perfect timing for me, too. I'm planning to start querying in January, which means my query and first few pages had damn well better be ready by December. If not, I'm a slacker.

I can't wait. So, is it December yet? How 'bout now? How 'bout now?

Waylander said...

How tight is the 100 word limit on the hook?

whitemouse said...

Manic Mom,

I smooch your feetsies in admiration; what a kind offer! Thank you so much.

However, I'd feel weird about it, given that you're a stranger. Please don't be offended - because I really do appreciate the gesture - but I'll decline your offer. Thank you anyway!

I'll see if I can get a friend to do it - or perhaps my goldfish can be trained to send email. ;-D

Lauren said...

I can't believe you're going to do this again. You just finished one.

KC said...

Dear Miss Snark,

A brand new Crapometer! My fondest Christmas wish has been answered!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

KC

Mark said...

Actually 100 words is long for a logline which is what is used for screenplays. Tell me your story in one or two sentences. It's doosey to write, but essential to sell any project.

Shelby said...

Wow Miss Snark, thanks! I've only just found your blog and have lamented missing the earlier crapometers thinking that you'd be insane to put yourself through that much work again, so this is really great.

Corn Dog said...

Woooo Hoooooo Crapmeter! YA YA YA! Thanks so much, Miss Snark! I love love love the CRAP-O-METER! I was working on a short story about my family's Christmas tradition of stealing our tree but I'm slamming the brakes on that masterpiece (not) and working on my hook. YEAH! Crapometer. Only 72 more days to go....

Talentless said...

Awesome news. I learned a lot about writing a query letter from the last crapometer. I am a bit confused though as in the UK all the writing books and advice suggest that query letters should be business like and dull. I would rather write to sell the story, but I wonder where I can find out how it works in the UK. Is there an English version of Ms Snark - wow there's a thought(has vision of a Mrs Peel type person).

Anonymous said...

And in the meantime, if anyone is looking for some help with honing their queries, I can thoroughly recommend the help and humour that Mr. Evil delivers over at evileditor.

The queue looks not too long currently, so waiting times should be pretty reasonable...

Anonymous said...

So the hook is sort of like an over-dramatic synopsis? Or something else entirely with a synopsis included? I'm confused. XP

S. W. Vaughn said...

Wow -- you're incredible, Miss Snark! We won't think that you're doing this so soon just because you feel bad for all the 400+ writers who didn't get in on the last one. Oh no. Because that would mean you have a heart of gold...

But you are the Queen of Snark, so that can't be the reason. ;-)

We heart you.

Helpless said...

What's a hook?

Is this a nitwit question?

Cheryl Mills said...

A hook, traditionally, is the opening. The grabber first sentences. I think what Miss Snark wants in this hook is more like back-cover copy.

Anonymous said...

You are a brave, brave person, Miss Snark.

judy said...

I'll see if I can get a friend to do it - or perhaps my goldfish can be trained to send email. ;-D



Goldfish can be trained? Wow, and I'm been wasting all my time on my gerbil.

Anonymous said...

I'll join you in nitwittery.

Is "the hook" the opening graphs of the story?

Or the mini-synopsis in the query letter?

Thanks ...
Anon again

HawkOwl said...

Fess up, Miss Snark. How did you land this 10,000-hour community service sentence? Was there gin and fire involved?

For the nitwits: a "hook" is grabbing device. You could use it to grab a fish, a cargo net, a yarn, or in this case, a reader's attention. The hook is defined by its function. If you can make your reader want to read your manuscript in 100 words or less, that 100 word thing is your "hook." What it actually says is up to you. If you can't "hook" the reader with it, it's not a hook.

McKoala said...

talentless - yes, it is different in the UK. The letter is short - but you usually send two or three chapters with your query, rather than just a few pages, so that's where you're selling your writing. Have you got the Writers' and Artists' Yearbook? That shows each agent's preference.

I don't know of a UK Miss Snark, if you find one tell me!

Dave said...

gee, novel hooks, 500 words and finally commentary -

why one might say you got them HOOK, LINE and (I'll go stand in the corner now) SINKER!

;)

Pixel Faerie said...

I like it. I think it sounds like a fair and safe bet to work from. I mean, wouldn't that be a lot like going through a slush pile?

I'll have to work on how to word the hook. Hey ya'll, any tips or examples to share? I know Holly Lisle's got some great ideas for one line hooks. I'd like to see the sort of hook lines Miss Snark has in mind.

Anonymous said...

I thought you wouldn't do it for another YEAR or two years, I'd hide in the corner with a case of gin after that last round. I DO ask something though...

I do ask the people who submit for the new round present this as if they were presenting to a real agent, and not because they can get a critique they've always wanted, and those who got in last round to not submit the same piece this round--at least 1. give a NEW story a chance to shine 2. let the rest of us get a chance to get in.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you're doing this to yourself again and so soon. I'm glad you are, but I really thought you'd give yourself a break. And so close to Christmas. Awww, it's a Christmas gift for us nitwits.
CJ

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I'm still deciding if I want to risk getting snarked. Do the manuscripts have to be finished to be entered?