Miss Snark in a quandary!

Miss Snark needs a drink recipe!
By tomorrow!!!

apparently "dial gin delivery service" is not a recipe!

If you have a good recipe, send it over!
We'll make up a pail or two and test it.

Postings to the blog may slow down until we achieve our goal and meet our deadline.

Ready! Set! Swill!


Dave Kuzminski said...

My favorite is called a Green Death: one shot vodka and one shot green creme de menthe. Nothing else, not even ice.

Of course, if you use a pail, that would be one bottle of each in the pail.

Dinosaur Mom said...

Why do you need something more than tonic water? Seriously. My father prefers Diet Vernors to tonic water. As for me, when all the booze in my house is gone except the gin, I mix it with cranberry juice and lemonade or limeade.

Greta LaGarbeaux said...

This reminds me of KY, not sure why. It is lifted from the brilliant and hilarious Keckler, recapper extraordinaire at TelevisionWithoutPity.com, czarina of The Grub Report (www.grubreport.com) and a woman after Miss Snark's own heart:

Pink Lady
2 oz gin
1 tbsp heavy cream
1 tsp Grenadine
1 egg white
2 tsp fresh lemon juice

The Shake:
Combine all ingredients together with ice, and shake. Pour into overblown cocktail glasses and drink. Stay within sprinting distance of the bathroom in case the drink or Hateful Jim makes you gag.

Manic Mom said...

It's not gin, but this'll make ya sin:

Pour equal parts Sour Pucker and Grey Goose, in a martini shaker. Doesn't matter how much, just matters how much you wanna drink.

Chill martini glass in freezer, drizzle caramel inside the chilled glass. Shake the Sour Pucker and Grey Goose. Pour into chilled, caramel-drizzled martini glass.

Add a marachino cherry or a slice of Granny Smith, but make sure it's not her toe.

Buh-dum-dump! Couldn't resist.

calendula said...

3/4 cup gin (Bombay NOT Sapphire)
2 teaspoons dry vermouth (not the red stuff, the pale stuff)
dash of Angostura bitters (very important!!)

Combine, shake over ice, pour into chilled martini glasses. Oh and it's best if the gin was frozen (but I don't have to tell Miss Snark that!)

Greta LaGarbeaux said...

Here's another one from the mighty Keckler. Gin-free, true, but oh-so-stylish. (She was posting these weekly while recapping Martha Stewart: The Apprentice, thus the
prison reference.)

French 75
1 oz brandy
3/4 oz Sonoma Syrup Co. Meyer Lemon Infused Simple Syrup
1/2 oz freshly squeezed lemon juice (Don't you hate how much you miss those lemons when you're in prison?)

The Shake:
Combine the first three ingredients together, add ice, and shake. Strain the concoction into a festive goblet, wine glass, or your mouth, and top with the bubbly stuff.

Susan said...

Key Lime Martini

2 shots vanilla vodka
1/2 shot key lime juice
2 tablespoons cream of coconut (rec: Coco Lopez)
1 shot pineapple juice

Add all ingredients to a martini shaker filled with ice. Shake vigorously and strain into a martini glass.
Dirty Martini

2 1/2 shots Gin
1/2 shot of brine from cocktail olives
1/8 shot extra-dry Vermouth

Shake ingredients with ice in cocktail shaker & strain. Serve chilled.
Cherry Gin-gria

Ice cubes
2 ounces cherry syrup (recommended: Giammona)
2 ounces gin
5 to 6 ounces club soda
1 ounce red wine
Maraschino cherries
Fresh or frozen raspberries

Fill a tall glass with ice cubes. Pour in the cherry syrup and the gin; stir to mix together. Lighten the drink with a generous splash of soda. Float a layer of red wine on top by pouring it over the back of a wide, flat spoon. Drop a few maraschino cherries and raspberries into the glass. Enjoy!

Hope these help.:)

Nick said...

Here's Nick's all-night vanilla-latté elixir:

3oz fresh tap water
1/2 cup milk
4 heaping tablespoons finely-ground coffee
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Dump the water in the top of the espresso machine and pack the coffee into the little cup for it as tightly as possible. Turn on the coffee pot and pour the milk into a mug and put it in the freezer for about five minutes. (Cold milk froths easier.)
When the coffee finishes, froth the milk starting from the bottom and working your way to the top, until the mug is hot and there are bubbles all the way to the top.
Dump the brewed coffee into another mug with the vanilla, then pour the frothed milk over it. If your roommate is pulling an all nighter playing Warcraft, double the recipe because he'll want a cup also. Otherwise, do your homework/research/story and don't plan on sleeping before 2 am.

Snark variants: replace water with gin, milk with gin, vanilla extract with gin, and coffee with gin. If George Clooney is over keep a roofie handy for his cup.


Greta LaGarbeaux said...

Okay, I couldn't resist one more. Plus, 'dark and stormy,' literary reference, it just seemed right.(I tried, as a devoted reader, to talk her into writing the World's Greatest Drink Recipe Book, but somehow she managed to ignore my pleas.)

Dark and Stormy
2 oz Black Gosling rum
6 oz ginger beer (the spiciest ginger beer you can find, we like Goya brand)
1 lime quarter

The Shake:
Pour the rum into the bottom of a highball or Collins glass. Add the ginger beer and squeeze in the lime. If you want to layer it, pour the ginger beer in first, then carefully add the rum. Be careful, though, because this way, the rum will all be sitting on top, but it does look cool -- like a dark and stormy New England horizon. Make sure you stick your glasses in the freezer before pouring the Kocktail to get them as frosted as Shawn's (ed. note: one of the Martha-lytes) lips.

Gene said...

Hi, Miss Snark,

If you're not frightened off by the idea of black-currant-flavored liqueur, I'd recommend mixing the following to taste (I can't take full credit for this, sadly; I'm poaching from a recent episode of Take Home Chef.):

Gold Tequila
Creme de Cassis
Lemon Juice
Ginger Ale


Ellen said...


You enter in what alcohol and mixers you have, and it tells you what you can make. I hope this helps you!

Katharinesw said...

I like sugar and lime juice mixed in the bottom of a chilled glass, add ice, gin, and tonic water. Pretty simple.

Elektra said...

You could always go the lterary-inspiration route.

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster:
Take the liquid contained in a 200 ml (6.75 oz) bottle of EverClear to remind you that your head will be clear forever if you drink too many Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, and that your brain will clear of anything soon after you start drinking some, if not before.
Into it, slowly pour a 750 ml (25 oz) bottle of Bombay Sapphire to remind you of the marvelous beauty of the old Santraginean seas, or an equal amount of Jeremiah Weed in acknowledgement of what has happened to the Santraginean Seas and their lifeforms.
Now add 750 ml (25 oz) of Cold Wild Turkey, letting it run into the mixture as we run through life to remind us of all the lifeforms we meet and experience while hitchhiking through the galaxy.
Speedily stirring, add 375 ml (12.7 oz) of Herradua Tequila, mixing it in to commemorate the galactic hitchhikers who died of pleasure among the vapors and gasses in the marshes of Fallia.
Over the bowl of a silver spoon, let flow 1 liter (34 oz) of rum in memory of the waterfalls and their glorious rainbows encountered on your journeys through the galaxy of life.
Next, drop in the worm found in a bottle of Musquil, watching it dissolve into the mixture. If the bottom falls out and the worm survives, drink at your own risk.
Finally, sprinkle into the mixture some Gatorade to commemorate the lifeforms which have vanished and are becoming extinct, both sentient and non-sentient, especially those most in need of aid.

Anne said...

My, what a catchy name you have there, Miss Snark. I suggest Googling the words "drink recipe." If that's not your style, how about a sweet, creamy B-52? Recipes vary a bit, but I like equal parts kahlua, amaretto and Irish creme. Serve straight up, over ice, or even blended with ice, the same way you would blend a daiquiri. Small glasses please - it's sweet and a little strong.

Anonymous said...

"The Killer Hair of the KY"

Empty your liquor cabinets of everything you have -- you know, the bottles of booze you've purchased over the years to appease the tastes of your party guests. The crusting remains of Canadian Club... the 3/4 full bottle of Absolute Citron chilling in the bottom of the freezer ... even the (gasp) White Zinfadel wine that guests think you'll love. Maybe you can even dig out an old Zima from the bowels of the fridge. Pour them all into a giant bucket. Add ice. Stir vigorously. Then gag it down and up snark it up!

Greta LaGarbeaux said...

How about an Auntie Mame sidecar
("Run along to Ito and tell him to bring me a light breakfast -- black coffee and a sidecar.") -- yet another Keckler Kocktail:

Auntie Mame's Fuel
1/4 cup Brandy
3/4 ounce Cointreau
1/2 ounce fresh lemon juice

Imelda said...

Two personal inventions, to add to the mix (so to speak)

Loose Granny
gin (or vodka, if you've run out of gin) and apple juice. Mix in proportions to suit your mood and serve over crushed ice.

Transalvanian Blood
Mix equal parts brandy and champagne and serve over a bitter-splashed sugar cube. This is what happened when we let my dipsomaniac friend mix the champagne cocktails. It is excellent, but also lethal. Do not do this in the presence of editors. Authors, probably fine.

Two fingers of Cointreau in a glass of champagne is also very nice - discovered at the same party.

Have Fun!

calendula said...

Oops! I forgot to say my recipe serves two. :-) I mean, if it really must...

Margaret A.McGurk said...

All right, all right, just one more. The ne plus ultra of Keckler Kocktails:

Emergency Cocktail

3 oz. Oban whisky
1 glass

The Shake:

There is no shake, just slug it and wait for sweet release.

Anonymous said...

Even though it isn't gin, it's perfect for that first meeting with Mr. Clooney:
1 oz Absolut Vodka
1 1/2 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
1/2 oz Kahlua
Fill a cocktail glass with crushed ice. Pour the ingredients in the order listed above over the ice. Stir. You'll need to convert to pail measurements.

Anonymous said...

You didn't give any parameters, so I have no idea what kind of drink you're looking for (sweet? savory? strong and mannish? weak and girlish?) but here is the Chappaquiddick:

--2 oz. cranberry juice; that's PURE UNSWEETENED cranberry juice, not the Ocean Spray crap; try "Just Cranberry" by Knudsen, or the equivalent
--1.5 oz. vodka or gin
--4 oz. seltzer or club soda
--splash of lime juice

I think you'll find that quite tasty. But if you or one of your guests simply must have it sweetened, provide a little pitcher of simple syrup, which they can add to taste.

That is all.

Mary Lewys said...

French Monkey

2/3 glass Red wine
1/3 glass Orangina (or Faygo) Orange soda

It's simple just add the 2 together and you've got "French Monkey Madness!!"

It sounds gross, I know. But I swear, try it. It's actually pretty good. However, my favorite always is:


* 2 oz Casa Noble Gold tequila (or Crystal)
* 1 oz Cointreau
* 1/2 oz Lime juice
* 1 splash Cranberry juice
* Ice

Shake all ingrediants with ice and strain.

ColoradoGuy said...

And don't forget the two Motrin tablets downed with 8 oz water just before you drift off to wherever you're going.

Marjorie Jones said...

I once won a contest with this one at a local pub-type establishment:

Tequila Sunset

1 part Jose or your favorite Mexican blend
1 part mixer (I've used Coke/Pepsi for years before they came up with Jose Black ... should've patented it apparently)
**Yes, it's half-and-half alcohol to mixer

Add a splash of the cherry flavored stuff they put in Shirley Temples... obviously, I'm not a bartender by trade (Grenadine *sp*?)

Slice of lemon, slice of lime in the drink or on the rim and you're done. (or a whole lemon and a whole lime if you're mixing by the bucket)


McKoala said...

I'm so dull. I'm all about gin and tonic and neat whisky (malt). That Chappaquiddick mix looks good though...

whitemouse said...

1 can lychee nuts, packed in their own water
1 can coconut milk
Rum, according to taste

Dump all ingredients, including the lychee water, into a blender and mix well. Serve.

GutterBall said...

I'm terribly fond of a 50/50 mix of Whaler's Vanilla Rum and plain ol' Coke. Seriously. A whole new spin on rum-n-Coke.

Plus, you can switch to just Coke later in the evening without raising any suspicions so you can point and laugh at all your drunk friends.

Or there's always Jungle Juice. Cut up a bunch of fruit (I like watermelon, strawberries, kiwi, and the like) in a metal tub...or a pail. Pack the pail in a tub of ice. Clean out your alcohol half-fulls -- Everclear, tequila, and vodka work particularly well here -- and dump them all in over the fruit.

Let sit for a few hours so the fruit becomes alcohol-infused enough to numb your fingers by touch alone. Heh.

God, I miss college....

randomsome1 said...

If you want to floor the party, the crack of choice is invariably Everclear. That with vanilla ice cream, orange soda, and peach nectar will usually do the trick--especially since it's easy to make by the pail. Throw in a big can of mandarin oranges, syrup and all, if you're feeling adventurous.

Something a little less likely to leave people passed out on your floor would be vodka, orange sherbert, and peach schnapps blended together with milk until milkshake consistency. That seperates relatively quickly, though, and blender drinks are a pain in the ass when you're serving a crowd.

I also have a punch recipe from a local winery that sounds good, though I haven't tried it: 1 bottle of sweet apple wine, 12oz frozen cranberry juice, and about 32oz Sprite/generic lemon-lime soda over ice. You could switch the cranberry for lingonberry if there's an Ikea available, as well.

Happy swilling!

Anonymous said...

My goodness. What part of the word 'gin' do they not understand?
I suggest a simple little cocktail called a Negroni. Equal parts of gin, campari, and sweet vermouth served over ice. You will not be sorry.

Grendel's Dam said...

If things are dire, there's nothing like the Mean Reds Martini: Four parts gin to one part Campari. Beaten, not stirred. Twist of barbed wire optional.

Anonymous said...

Emergency! Sounds like Madame La Snarkesse needs a crowd-pleaser, to prepare in advance for better mob control. Herewith:

Raspberry Cosmos:

Large Recipe:

- One part Raspberry-Cranberry juice (from Ocean Spray)

- Two parts orange juice and equal amount Vodka (any brand, get lots...)

- One-eighth part Triple Sec

- One-eighth part fresh squeezed limes (do not used bottled!)

Ladle over crushed ice into a fashionable glass. You can squeeze the lime as a flourish at the last minute.... Cheers!

Alternatively (could we forget?)

The Manhattan!

The classic, from my husband's dad, who was raised there....

-Two parts whiskey
-One part red vermouth
-A marascino cherry
-A few drips cherry juice

Pour over the rocks into a classic highball...cheers! Very du moment..

Just Me

Susan said...

You could mix up some yummy jello shots for dessert. Who doesn't like jello?

Dave said...

Chocolate Gorilla
4 oz cold milk
3 oz chocolate syrup
2 oz banana syrup
4 oz fresh Hot espresso
Whipped cream (whipped to a frenzy)
Chocolate topping powder
4 shot brandy

Steam the milk with the banana syrup and allow to sit
Pour the chocolate syrup in the bottom of two 6 oz cups...1 oz in each
Prepare two cups of espresso and pour each into a cup
Stir the espresso/chocolate mixture gently
Add the the brandy split evenly between the two cups
Gently add the hot, steamed milk until the cup is about 2/3 full
Mix the foam with the whipped cream lightly and spoon on the top of the hot cappuccino to form a peak.
Drizzle the chocolate syrup down the peak in a spiral using 1/4 oz on each cup
Dust lightly with the chocolate topping powder

Dave said...

When I could still drink real booze, not the fake wine stuff. I drank double black russians.

Crush ice and fill glass.
Carefully pour Kahlua in to 1/3 full. This forms a dark layer on the bottom of the glass
Gently pour vodka on top to form clear layer.
Garnish with a sprig of mint.
sip away

p.n.Elrod said...

This is a Red Death after the title of one of my novels:

One shot each of:

Southern Comfort
Sloe gin
Triple Sec
Orange juice

Shake with ice; pour through strainer.

There are a lot of variations, but this is my fave.


Jude Hardin said...

If you're throwing a party, all you need is a case of Scotch.

You automatically have recipes for three drinks: Scotch. Scotch on the rocks. Scotch and water.

(I stole the idea from Lou Grant on the old Mary Tyler Moore show).

Tori Scott said...

It's a girly drink, but it's always been my favorite:

Sloe Gin Fizz

1 1/2 oz. Sloe Gin
3 oz. Lemon Soda or Lemon Juice
Club Soda or Sparkling Water

Combine sloe gin and lemon soda or lemon juice in a shaker filled with ice, shake, pour into a highball glass filled with ice and fill with club soda or sparkling water.

Greta LaGarbeaux said...

Man, I want to go to a meet-up with this crowd! Preferably in an undisclosed location where the doors are locked as tight as the car-key cabinet. And no cameras.Greta

cnladd said...

Lemon Drop Martini

Take about two jiggers of vodka, add in about a jigger of Amaretto and a jigger of triple sec. Toss it all into a mixer filled with ice. Add the juice of a quarter lemon.


Strain into two Martini glasses. Give yourself a little more (unless you're trying to show the other person you think they're swell.)

Now, take another quarter lemon. Squeeze the juice over the top of each of the martinis. Then, add a twist of lemon peel to each.

After you've tried it once, play with the amount of Amaretto and triple-sec. I tend to like a bit more of the former and a bit less of the latter.


Kanani said...

I see George wanting something more Hollywood.

So here is the recipe for Fred Astaire's Old Fashioned
(from his daughter Ava)

Angostura Bitters
1 Sugar Cube
Soda Water
2 oz. Bourbon
1 Maraschino Cherry and a little of its syrup
half an orange slice

In an Old Fashioned glass, sprinkle about 6 drops of the bitters on the sugar cube and add soda water just to cover. Crush the cube with a wooden pestle, add bourbon, ice, a scant teaspoon of cherry syrup and stir. Spear the orange and cherry on a toothpick, put them in the glass and top with a dash more soda.

Or if you prefer Cary Grant, try the Pink Lady (as described above) or the Highball

2 measures Scotch or Canadian whisky or bourbon whiskey
Ginger Ale or Soda Water
Lemon & Lime slices to garnish

Pour the whisky over ice cubes in a glass. Fill with ginger ale or soda water and stir gently. Garnish with lemon and lime slices if liked.

Variation: Presbyterian(!!): Use bourbon whiskey and half ginger ale and half soda water

mkcbunny said...

Pear martini.

You need: Nice vodka, pear juice, lemon, and mint.
I'd go 50/50 pear-to-vodka, but that's your call. Pear is subtle, and you may need more. Tear mint leaves and drop into pitcher. Squeeze or two of lemon.

You can keep it in the fridge and shake over ice before serving with garnish of mint.

Sorry it's not a gin drink.

mkcbunny said...

Come to think of it, 2-to-1, pear-to-vodka. Start with that and adjust to taste.

michele_lang said...

Lichido is a lichee juice liqueur, and my latest addiction:

Lichido Mojito

1.5 oz white rum
2 oz lichido
muddled limes
mint leaves
sugar to taste
spritz of soda

The mint tastes amazing with the lichee flavor – very different.

I had a pomegranate martini the other day, which was also very tasty. Here’s Oprah’s recipe:

Pomegranate martini a la Oprah --


1 1/2 cups pomegranate juice
2 oz. Absolute Citron vodka OR white tequila
1 oz. Cointreau liquor
Cup of ice
Optional: Splash of sparkling water
Optional: Squeeze of lemon

Anonymous said...

wow. so, like, writers like to drink?

katiesandwich said...

Well, I can probably get you the recipie later, but this Norwegian guy I used to work for has a recipie for a Norwegian drink called Glug. Sounds gross, I know, but I think it's only named that so the host of the party can go, "Hey, guys, want some Glug?" and then everybody'll say no, so the host gets to drink it all him/herself. It's a spiced, hot wine simmered with almonds, and you serve it with the almonds in it, which is sooo good because the almonds soak up the wine and the spices and... oooooohhhhh! I'm sure there's a recipie on the internet somewhere, but it's 1:37 in the morning, so I'll look it up later. Need to go to bed!

Brady Westwater said...

Start with 7-Up and lime sherbert. You're on your own after that.

The Queen-a Athena said...

This one takes some planning ahead and is really best in summer, but it's definitely worth saving.

Super Slushies

Boil together
1 c sugar
3 c water.
Let cool.

Mix with the sugar/water:
23 oz pineapple juice (that's like half a big can)
6 oz frozen pink lemonade concentrate, undiluted (half a can)
12 oz frozen orange juice concentrate, undiluted (1 can)
3/4 cup gin
3/4 cup lemon vodka

Pour into a 9x13 pan: freeze. (Give yourself LOTS of time, at least a day,
all that alcohol means it freezes slow.) When frozen, scrape into a tall glass (filling to about the 2/3 mark) & top off with
club soda. Mash it around a bit until you get a lovely slushy consistency. Drink through a straw.

Southern Writer said...

You may not want it now, but keep it in mind for those cold and snowy winter nights before the fire with Mr. Clooney:

Tight Sweater

1 shot Irish Creme
1 shot Amaretto
1 shot Frangelico
Fill the remainder of the glass with fresh hot coffee.

Lexa Roséan said...

key is crush the ice with fresh mint leaves while slowly adding in the sugar. Squeeze lots of limes, add seltzer and - o yeah - THE RUM!!!

Anonymous said...

The Vulcan Mind Probe:

Equal parts of rum, gin and vodka, and twice that much of lemon sour.

So, if you have a pint each of rum gin & vodka, put in six of the lemon sour.

Let it sit over night. It's better the next day.

But then, if you don't have the gin, this won't do you much good.

Malia said...

Gin recipe???

Um....chilled martini glass and let's see, oh yeah -- gin.

How ya feelin' this morning MS?

Ray Goldensundrop said...

The Professional:

1 - whiskey glass, cut
1 - microbrew

Fill whiskey glass, cut, half full of cheap bourbon.

Open microbrew with Swiss Army knife.

Stay away from ice, former lovers, spouses or other confusions.

Complain loudly to the brick walls around you.




Anonymous said...

No gin, but it'll get you in the mood for Halloween:)

Pumpkin Pie Martini

1 cup Libby's Easy Pumpkin Pie Mix
1 cup half-and-half
1 1/2 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon molasses
2 ounces spiced rum, plus a little extra
A pinch of nutmeg

In a blender, puree the pumpkin pie mix together with half-and-half. One
cocktail uses 2 ounces of the pumpkin mixture; the rest can be reserved in the refrigerator. Spread the brown sugar out on a saucer. Dampen the rim of a martini glass with a little rum and then coat the rim in brown sugar. Drizzle molasses in glass. Set aside. In a cocktail shaker, combine 2 ounces pumpkin pie base, 2 ounces spiced rum and ice. Shake until well-chilled and then strain into the prepared martini glass. Sprinkle with a little nutmeg and serve.

Anonymous said...

Nothin' beats gin and tonic with a twist of lemon. -JTC

Word verification: tyshag -what you'll be doing after too many.

Richard said...

The only recipe I can remember in a crunch involves a brown paper bag, a bottle of ripple, and a cigarette.

Timmy Mac said...

Finally, something I'm qualified to comment on around here. Given your taste for gin, you're going to want to try a Layaway, which is basically a gin martini with green Chartreuse instead of vermouth. Word is that F. Scott Fitzgerald used to drink 'em.

The Rejected Writer said...

Hey Miss Snark, which drink was the "winner"? Which was the best? Some here sound lovely, others not so much. Did you find success?

Anonymous said...

What are muddled limes?

Ryan Field said...

A Piece of Ass
Ingredients: Amaretto, Southern Comfort, Sour Mix

Though I can't take credit for this, it came in an e-mail advertising happy hour at a bar in Hells Kitchen.

Cheryl Mills said...

Week at Charter-Peachford:
(that's a rehab center here in ATL, if ya don't know)

In a tall shotglass, layer:

Grand Marnier

You'll need pour spouts in the liquor bottles, and hold the tip right against the edge of the glass so that the layers will float on top of each other. A whole line-up of these on a tray is beautiful. And boy, will they F you up!

Moon Goddess said...

This always goes over well...

White Chocolate Martini

1oz Vanilla Vodka
2oz Creme de Cocoa (white)
1 oz white chocolate liquor
1 oz half and half cream

- drizzle the martini glass with chocolate syrup
- combine everything but the cream in a martini shaker with a scoop of ice. Shake unitl cup frosts.
- add cream and swirl gently to mix (If you put it in at first the shakign with aerate it too much and there will be too many bubbles for it to fit in the cup)
- pour into cup, straining out the ice
- if your chocolate syrup is light enough, you might be able to make a design on top. Otherwise, add either a cherry or a hersey's hug.

Grapeshot said...

Sorry to be a day late and a jigger short. We found this recipe in the Wall Street Journal (which never fails to surprise) and it has become our house drink.

Bardstown Sling

1 serving
1 3/4 oz. bourbon
1 oz. Triple Sec
1 oz. cramberry juice
Juice of 1/2 lime

Pour into a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake, strain and serve. Of course, you wouldn't want to mix just one!


Anonymous said...

Simple, elegant. Gin and Squirt, which I think can now be purchased anywhere.

Mtanz said...

Other than a Mojito, my next fav is a family tradition. When my parents and in-laws met for the first time this is what we served to ease the way (and it worked!):

Goom Bay Smash

1 Part Rum
1 Part Coconut Rum
2 Parts Orange Juice
A splash of Pineapple juice
A sprinkle of nutmeg

That's the breakdown of the components. However, if you're serving a lot of people, this drink works great because than it works out to:

1 bottle (fifth) of Rum
1 bottle (fifth) of Coconut Rum
1 Gallon of Orange Juice
1 small can of Pineapple Juice
and still a dash of Nutmeg

Best to warn your guests it carries a wallop, because I guarantee they won't think it tastes like it! Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

This is called a Green Dragon. We made this before school when we were 17:

One shot of everything in the liquor cabinet. (assuming cabinet has many bottles)
Green food coloring (enough drops to make it green)
Orange juice
Any soda in the house

Add ice, hold nose, drink.

This is not recommended for someone you like. This is more a drink for an enemy because it's so vile you have to drink it fast. Once glugged down, guaranteed buzz.

thraesja said...

Siberian Sleighride-very good for Christmastime

1oz vodka
1oz white creme de menthe
1oz white creme de cocoa

Mix well. Serve over lots of ice. Preferably chill all the booze in the fridge first.

Never have more than three; I discovered this the hard way.

Stuart said...

Take a glass. Add ice. Remove ice. Add gin. Serve. Repeat as needed.


Well, it works for vodka...

Anonymous said...

I personally like Illusions a lot:

- 1 pt Vodka
- 1 pt Midori
- 1 pt Triple Sec (Cointreaux)
- 5-6 pts Pineapple juice

Add ice, shake, serve in shotglass.

Of course, bigger glasses work. Really well actually.

This drink shouldn't be underestimated though. It tastes a lot like a fruitdrink, but a good 15-20 minutes later the Vodka starts to seep into your bloodstream and things go fast from then on.

cb said...

Duck Fart: 1 part Crown Royal or Black Velvet, 1 part Kahlua, 2 parts Irish Creme.

Rocks are preferred but not necessary.

snarkaholic said...

Yo Snark,

You owe us at least a bit of an explanation as to why you need this recipe!

Hot Date?
Dinner Party?

Virginia Miss said...

Miss Snark, do please give us feedback after you've taste-tested all your new drink recipes.

anti - ethnocentric said...

The Tennessee Williams (my very own recipe)

2.5 shots vodka
2 shots Galliano (vanilla-flavoured liquor)
1.5 shots lemon juice
.5 shot Malibu Mango rum

In that order. Serve on the rocks in a highball glass. Sip...slowly.

I have yet to meet the person who doesn't love this powerful lemonade.

I also mix liberal amounts of gin, Sour Puss of any flavour (the American half-ass equivalent would be Pucker) and some clear pop. When pomegranate Uphoria (again, never seen it in the States) is used in place of the Sour Puss, it becomes a Truman Capote. (I have this thing with naming drink concoctions after gay male writers...you don't want to know what's in the Oscar Wilde, you really don't.)

Of course, I also have variations on the classic martini (one adds to the gin and vermouth certain flavoured liqueurs for those who can't deal with pretty much straight gin) but those require, for the most part, liqueurs only available in Canada.

WriterForHire said...

Oh my--do I have the drink for you: Amaretto Stone Sour

Amaretto, sweet-n-sour, and orange juice (you decide how much of each). Shake it with ice and pour it into a glass with a few cherries. YUM

Chumplet said...

Cripes, I turn my back for a second...

I think I mentioned this before, but throw a cucumber slice in your G&T instead of lemon.

Another one I can't remember was in one of my many copies LCBO Food & Drink magazine that we get for free in the liquor store (can't shop for booze in the corner store in Ontario!). It involves Canadian Whiskey, vodka, maple syrup and ice.

Real maple syrup, not the Aunt Jemima stuff.

Anonymous said...

French 75:

Your favourite proportions of gin, fresh lemon juice and bar sugar, shaken over ice and poured into a nice big glass of champagne. The elegance of bubbly with the wallop of gin. Mmm.

dink said...

These are perfect for this time of year. Make them by the pitcher.

Manzanas Del Otoño

2 cups apple cider*
1 cup tequila (gold)
1/4 cup creme de cassis
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
Ice cubes, as needed
Unpeeled apple slices,as garnish **

Stir together in a pitcher the cider, tequila, creme de cassis, and lemon juice. Fill 8 (8-ounce) glasses halfway with ice. Pour the drink into the glasses, garnish each with an apple slice, and serve.

Serves 8

*You can substitute unsweetened apple juice if you have to

** If you are preparing the slices ahead, crush up a vitamin C tablet in about a cup of water and dip the apple slices in it to prevent browning

Jessica said...

One pint glass. Or one pail. Measure "half" accordingly. Half filled with cold beer (a Pilsner is good, a wheat beer is a good choice, too) and half filled with cold lemonade. Not Sprite, as has been offered by a flummoxed bartender. Real live lemonade. Call it a Shandy, because that's what it's called. Drink it in hot weather.

It's not gin, I will concede that.

Bay said...

Re-discovered in Las Vegas, my favorite Champagne Cocktail:

- 1 sugar cube
- 1/4 shot Chambord, saturating the sugar cube in the bottom of a flute
- Chilled champagne to fill the flute

It's elegant, beautiful, tasty, and as the sugarcube melts, it releases more bubbles and more flavor into the drink. An awful lot like Miss Snark herself!

-c- said...

Nobody has mentioned the Mai Tai!

Here's a simple recipe, always a crowd pleaser if you like fruit drinks:

1 part cheap ammerato
2 parts mixed rum (at least some of the rum must be good black rum, like Goslings or Meyers, but you can float on top if you wish when you garnish)

Pinapple juice (main juice)
Any other specialty juices you fancy (optional) like essence of peach, mango, fresh orange, etc.

spash of grenadine (or just a cherry with a little juice for color)
splash of roses lime (or just a lime squeeze)

Mix all together to taste, have it ready in a pitcher.

Optional fresh fruit garnish (fresh pinapple soaked in rum is my fav.) speared on a fru fru umbrella
Orange slice is nice too

Serve over ice in a hurricaine class

Anonymous said...

Peachie Bite
One shot Creme de Menthe
Two shots Peach Schnapps
Place shots in shaker, with crushed ice.
Shaker gently for 10 seconds.

Pour into your favorite chilled glass.

Do not drive.

blissbat said...

Oh no! A question I can actually answer and I'm a day late!

Well, for next time then, some classics, cause you strike me as a classic drink kinda girl:

The Gimlet

Start with one part Rose's Lime Juice -- not fresh -- to three parts good gin (I use Bombay Sapphire) and adjust to taste. I use about a 1:4 ratio, as I like to taste my gin. Shake with ice till frost forms on the shaker, serve either up in a cocktail glass or on rocks.

(In polite company, it's not necessary to specify "gin gimlet," but it's advisable to do so at bars.)

The Last Word

This is a pre-prohibition delight that's beginning to come back into fashion -- in my kitchen, at least.

Equal parts good gin, fresh lime juice, maraschino liqueur (not actually cherry flavored, don't worry), preferably Luxardo brand, and green chartreuse. Except I underpour the lime juice by a hair. Shake till superfrosty, serve up with a maraschino cherry. This is a really well-balanced, interesting drink that you'll want to pay attention to while you sip.

Someone else mentioned a Negroni, which is fabulous. But I'd go easy on the sweet vermouth -- equal parts gin, Campari, and vermouth is way too vermouthy for my taste. Serve with an orange slice or -- if you're hardcore -- a singed bit of orange peel (burn with a match).

j h woodyatt said...

Monkey Gland, a prohibition era recipe: 1) jigger of gin; 2) jigger of orange juice; 3) splash of pastis; 4) shake and pour into cocktail glass (also called a martini glass); 5) dash of grenadine syrup; 6) garnish with citrus twist.

Kelly said...

My apologies for missing your call for aid, Miss Snark, but I had to submit anyway because, frankly, I was appalled that so many of the other submissions were gin-free (and otherwise dubious). So for your consideration, I offer the world's most PERFECT GIN COCKTAIL. It is tart, and luscious, and has kept me sane all summer long:

The Pigu Club Cocktail

1 1/2 ounces of gin
1/2 ounce Cointreau or Triple Sec
3/4 ounce fresh lime juice
2 dashes of bitters

Shake hard with plenty of ice and strain. Tastes rather like a liquored-up grapefruit sorbet.

(found it on vintagecocktails.com)

girldetective said...

Miss Snark, I do hope you plan to personally TEST all these recipes before you offer one of them up as your own favorite cocktail!

Think of it: a snookered snark. I bet you are twice as entertaining when you are seeing double!

Diana Killian

E. Ann Bardawill said...

Pap Smear

2 parts Dr. Pepper
1 jigger Canadian Club
Marachio Cherry (option)

Serve chilled.

Chumplet said...

The providers of Miss Snark's fifty favourite cocktail recipes get the first fifty cracks at the next Crapometer! How's that for a contest?

My mom is half Irish and half Miq Mac (First Nation). She had a recipe involving Creme de Menthe, vodka and cream. She called it The White-Haired Irish Squaw. I don't know if it's original, but cool name, huh?

the flying ghoti said...

I may be a little bit late on this one, but if you want a gin cocktail you've probably never encountered before, I might recommend the Bombay Topaz. In a champagne flute, combine roughly one part Bombay Sapphire with four parts of a dryish champagne. Add a bit of lime juice to taste.

I know it sounds like a sin against gin (and champagne for that matter), but it's actually spectacular if you can get the proportions right. (And it's classy as hell, too, which is nice.) Unfortunately, there's not much of a margin of error - too much of any ingredient and it moves swiftly towards unspeakable foulness - so you may need to practice a bit before you have the company over. As it's already after tomorrow, I doubt this post will do any good this time, but perhaps someday it will save someone else in a similar bind.

Or if you're feeling exceptionally lazy, just go to IKEA and get some lingonberry juice concentrate. As I recall, one part concentrate, three parts water, one part vodka (Swedish vodka, of course - I recommend Svedka) makes a very pleasant drink that's nowhere near as ghetto-tasting as its recipe would imply. You can vary the vodka/water ratio as needed, naturally. I call it a Stockholm Syndrome. (You might even be able to pull off gin with that, though there aren't many Swedish gins that I know of...)

Anonymous said...

Leonard Cohen's Red Needle

He described the Red Needle, which he invented in Needles, CA, as a drink made with tequila, cranberry juice, lemon, ice.

Based on his description, a popular recipe for Red Needles is:
Tall glass with ice (about half full of ice)
Add 2 oz. of tequila
Add a slice of lemon
Fill the glass up with cranberry juice

"looks like freedom but it feels like death
it's something in between I guess
it's Closing Time..."