Red Letter Writing Contest #11

The Crouching Snarks

I was listening to that new goat-grunge band, Dragoons, when my retainer broke. Okay, so I was doing a bit more than listening, but we won't go into that. Let's just say I didn't expect it all to have worldwide consequences.

A fragment of wire flew through my window and bounced off the back of someone's head. He was a member of a cabal plotting world domination, and he and his fellow plotters sat on a park bench, disguising their treasonous musings by playing Strauss music very loudly. Each envisioned himself as dominant; so being thunked on the head by a retainer brought a crisp response. He jumped up and eyed the conspirator on his right. In turn, the guy on the right made the classic twirling finger gesture and rolled his eyes. The others chuckled.

Believing that they were plotting his demise, the evil man whom my retainer thunked murdered then all, and that ended their enterprise on the spot! All goats and half of humanity are safe as a result.

Until I learned of their wicked plot by reading an anonymous blog, I was sure I could never listen to Crouching Snark, Hidden Dragoon again, but it's now my favorite song.

I've organized my own secret society to combat World Domination Plotters. We meet under an abutment of one of the Rhine bridges. Because we must crouch to meet there and because we keep membership secret, we've named ourselves after the song.

What is wrong with world domination??


GutterBall said...

Ah, I can almost hear The Monarch. "World domination? Hell, no. I'll leave that to religious nuts and the Democrats."

McKoala said...


Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Naughty man. Of course POV stands for perfect and overwhelmingly virtuous.

Or are you a point of view fetishist?