Red Letter Writing Contest #17
Sung to “Viva Las Vegas!”
Original words & music: Doc Pomus & Mort Shuman
Hot shot agent’s gonna sell my book
Gonna sell my book today
She just wants a big retainer, it’s standard op
Or so that’s what IILAA says
But there’s a thousand other sites sayin’ it’s lies
I read them all, what an enterprise
A scammer after cash, but you opened my eyes
So, Viva Miss Snark! Viva Miss Snark!
Glad I found you at the head
Before I sent my cash to BBLA
I’d have been trashed and my dreams killed dead
With her wanting more money each day
They’re slick as sewer rats in the Jersey slime
Shine a light their way and hear them whine
All you need is the truth and a cabal behind
You, Viva Miss Snark! Viva Miss Snark!
Viva the Dragoon with Crispin and Strauss
Pointing out all the thieving louse’s
Scams busted, down the drain
Viva to the Dragoon and Absolute Write
Spreading the news day and night
Hear the truth just once
You’ll never be the same again!
I’m gonna spread the word too
Post it on my blog like you
If it costs me my very last dime
If I wind up unpublished
I’ll always remember that I didn’t waste my time
I’m gonna slam ‘em with everything I’ve got
Google-bomb sites and keep the topic hot
Show up their lies and foil each greedy plot
Viva Miss Snark! Viva Miss Snark!
Viva Miss Snark! Viva, viva Miss Snark!
Me! Me! Throw the sweaty towel!!