Captain's Log Stardate 221415.9:
The USS Enterprise is currently in orbit around the mysterious planet Dragonia. The Dragoons are ruled by a secret cabal headed by the Most High Snark and her retainer the SFWA.
Recently the Cabal has developed a terrible weapon called the Google Bomb. For reasons unknown, they plan to use it to drive independent literary agents out of business and ruin the galactic publishing industry.
The Federation has ordered us to stop this nefarious scheme. Ensign Bauer, Mr. Spock, Bones and I are beaming down to reason with cabal members Strauss, Crispin, and Kuzminski.
Unfortunately Ensign Bauer was devoured by a strange beast known as the Killer Yapp shortly after our arrival on Dragoonia. However, we were successful in our negotiations with the Cabal. In exchange for a gin pail and an autographed picture of George Clooney, and a stack of crisp, new $100 bills, the Most high Snark has agreed to stop trying to destroy the galactic publishing industry. The Enterprise is now on its way to Starbase 117 so I can pick up a new case of toupee glue.
Going where no Snark has gone before!