Red Letter Writing Contest #39

The Battle Hymn of the Snarks

Mine eyes have seen the blogging of the one they call the Snark,
I’ve read her in the morning, I’ve read her in the dark,
I know she keeps a Yapper, tho’ I’ve never heard him bark,
Her truth it keeps us strong.

Will we, will we ever publish?
Will we, will we ever publish?
Miss Snark, she keeps us strong.

She is dressed in glorious colors like a heav’ly armed dragoon,
Using only crispest verbage she is ready to harpoon
The very latest nitwit, or a scammer she’ll impugn,
Her blog is marching on.

I’ve read her fiery gospels ‘gainst the evil enterprise
Of paying to be published, which is very ill-advised,
We know she is our champion, though we often agonize
It’s taking way too long…

Her cabal has spawned a fan club ‘tho some fear it is a cult,
We pledge undying homage if we publish as result,
We vilify the Baur, but in Snark we do exult,
Her truth it keeps us strong.

She sends us off to gall’ries, we consider notes of Strauss,
She helps us keep clear-headed, her thoughts we do espouse,
We feel we’ve got some friends, although we rarely leave the house…
Her blog it keeps us strong.

We’d gladly pay retainer if she’d only take us on,
We’re convinced we could be famous, the world has got us wrong,
We take our clue gun hits because her tough love makes us strong,
Her truth keeps marching on.

Yowza! Miss Snark is saluting!...but fears the last time she set her hair on fire, she
also burnt her draft card.


The Unpretentious Writer said...

I used to sing 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic' while I ran the vacuum...I think I have a new song now.

GutterBall said...

Solid. Gold.

Southern Writer said...


McKoala said...

Stirred, not shaken.

WannabeMe said...

I was totally singing along!

roach said...

This is my favorite.

Georgiana said...

This one is lovely, great job!

Anonymous said...

I like this one too!

Existential Man said...

love it!

astrologymemphis.blogspot.com said...

Congratulations on winning! Yours was an excellent entry.

Sam said...

This was So much fun to read! (and sing)

Kate Thornton said...

This is one truly excellent entry. I salute you!

Unknown said...

Wow! That was fun! I never win anything! Thanks Miss Snark, for the vote of confidence!

Anonymous said...

Well done!

Oh this is fabulous. Now I have a new version of this lovely song, right up there with "I wear my pink pajamas in the summer when it's hot".

Thank you so much.

(humming my favorite line "It's taking way too long...")

susan said...

Congratulations! This was terrific.