11.02.2006

Gawking at Bella Stander

You had to see THIS in today's Gawker, to know the derivation of THIS in today's Bellissimaaaa blog.

And Bella, now that I have your attention, I really must insist you get well.
This surgery thing is so five minutes ago.
We've had an entire writing contest while you nipped off to dreamland.


If we have to run another Bella Stander Humerus Poem Contest to motivate you, well, trust me, it won't be the first time we've unleased creative wrath here. (And Bella...this time... they have multi media.)

It's really in your best interest to fully recover very soon.
Trust me.

11 comments:

Zany Mom said...

Would a radial or ulnar poem work as well? Inquiring minds want to know...

Miss Snark said...

There will be none of that radial ulnar poetry stuff HERE! No sirreee there will NOT.

Zany Mom said...

Party pooper. :p

I guess I'll just have to stick with humorous humerus poems then.

ColoradoGuy said...

How 'bout humeral poetry?

M. G. Tarquini said...

I might be able to manage a humetically-sealed poem.

Southern Writer said...

I enjoyed her blog post. She's so funny.

Bella Stander said...

Thank you, one and all! But that humerus stuff, fun as it was, is SO three months ago.

Now you have to write with nerve. As in the median nerve, which, as I've learned firsthand (literally), runs by the armpit down the inside of the arm, through the wrist and branches out across the palm to parts of every digit except the pinky. See illustration in More Slicing & Dicing.

And if this surgery doesn't quite do the trick, I might need another one by my wrist. (I can see all the limp-wristed poetical references now.)

After that comes the nose job to straighten out the banana curve in my septum and hammer out the dent made when my eyeglasses were smashed into my face. And last but not least, there's cosmetic dentistry to cover the tattletale gray of the dead front tooth, which had root canal along with its next two neighbors back in June. (Hint: Keep faces and bodies clear of violent impact with metal pipe.)

So there's plenty of material to keep surgeons and poets busy for months to come.

Miz Treeze said...

Bella, you realize that she is TOTALLY serious about the dangers of multi media, don't you?

mkcbunny said...

Why would one do business any way but as the "rare gem." First: whatever your financial income, you should be a decent human being and not be an asshole to anyone in your scope of contact. If you're an aspiring author, then copping an attitude is a bad play. If you're a money-maker, then you should have the class to behave well. Second: It's a business for everyone involved. Act like a professional; come prepared; do your job.

Alicia said...

Was no one else kind of offended that the original post about publicists referred to them all as women? And that a lot of the "types" seemed to be stereotypes of women? (Socialite, gets married and turns back on career, etc.) I'm not saying that where there's a stereotype, there aren't true cases to back it up. I'm just saying it seems a little one-sided to act as though all publicists are women eager to get married, get laid, or too stupid to read.

Anonymous said...

Hint: Don't request "gifts" from people you insult. Those gems may turn out to be CZs.