11.08.2006

I'm too sexxy for your crap

Dear Miss Snark (soon to be Clooney),

I stumbled upon a message board earlier today where the Crapometer was being discussed, and the comments there were mixed. Some writers felt it was beneath them to submit to any kind of critique group once they secured an agent. Their mentality was that they don't need to get better, they're good enough already. Others thought it would be disrespectful of their agent to send even 500 words to another agent for critique, for any reason.

Personally, I think the concept of the Crapometer is The Shit, but I can sort of see their side of things, too. So I'm curious: As an agent, how would you feel if you ran across one of your clients in the Crapometer submission pile?



Generally speaking I'd laugh raucously and remove it from consideration. Those guys get my comments at another time and place.

Anyone who doesn't want to be in the Crapometer shouldn't enter. You don't even have to come up with a chucklehead excuse like "I'm good enough already". Just don't send pages. I promise not to send the Poodle Fetch n Kvetch Ninja team to your house or place of business to harrass you. They're busy enough with client work as it is.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Their mentality was that they don't need to get better, they're good enough already.

Pfft. Arrogant twits. A professional should always strive to improve their skills.

Others thought it would be disrespectful of their agent to send even 500 words to another agent for critique, for any reason.

Blind terror of one's agent is more forgiveable than blind arrogance about one's abilities, but not much less silly.

Again: A professional should always strive to improve their skills. Furthermore, I'm sure any sane agent would be supportive of that endeavor - even if the improvement came by way of Miss Snark and the Crapometer.

Cathy in AK said...

Unless those authors' words fell close to perfect upon the page without the aid of a critique group (doubtful), isn't the feedback they received from someone part of the reason they got agents to begin with?

Some folks get a bit big for their britches.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Bill E. Goat: Type this up for me, will ya?

Me: I'm kinda busy. What is it?

Bill E.: It's my crapometer rejection letter. I'm too good for the crapometer; so I'm rejecting Miss Snark. I havta tell Miss Snark I'm not submitting.

Me: Why? And since when ... Well, why?

Bill E.: Look! I got this brochure from Publish Your Novel Novel, an offer from Barbara BunchessofLove, and a coupon from LuLu.com. So, I don't need it no more, do I, ducks?

Me: I'm not a duck. One says, "anymore." And an offer of representation from any agent with the initials B. B. may be questionable. You sure you want to do this?

Bill E.: I'll think about it. Where's my medicine? The best thing Snark ever did was tell me about TEEEE KEEEE LAAAAAA.

Anonymous said...

I have an agent, and I'm not submitting to the Crapometer.

This isn't because I think I'm Da Bomb. Miss Snark has only so many hours in her day, and there are only so many places in the Crapometer. I don't need the Crapometer to help me get an agent, since I have one; and, while I want to keep improving my writing skill for the rest of my life, I already have amazing industry professionals who are helping me to do that. I figure it would be just plain self-indulgent of me to try to take up one of those Crapometer places, when it could go to someone who has a much more practical and pressing use for it.

Anonymous said...

Too good? Pfft is right. I don't submit simply because I don't think it's fair, since I do have a fabulous agent and two awesome editors for me to possibly take up a space of an unpublished or unrepresented author. I have agents and editors to improve my work...and trust me, we all need improving. I'm tempted to submit only to see the reaction of people who aren't "used" to my style and voice. But I still don't think it's fair to possibly take up a slot someone else needs more than I do just to get a fresh take on my work.

Anonymous said...

Oh, bloody (bleeeep).

I've had agents since the early 90's, sold 20+ novels, a buncha short stories, am editing anthologies for several print houses, and I STILL NEED A GOOD CRITIQUE GROUP.

I could probably get away with a halfway decent proposal letter if needed, but only because the Crapometer contests have been so good at telling me what not to do.

NO ONE ever learns all there is to know about this craft. Having a great agent is just one step on the journey. One must supply that agent with worthy material to sell. Getting feedback has repeatedly saved me from a swift and humbling return to a real-world job, yeah-sure-you-betcha!

Anonymous said...

Okay, help me out here. Is "The Shit" an obliquely hip way to say "quite nice"? All I can think of is that soft brown stuff we all seem to create each day. Now, "da bomb"...I can kinda see. But "The Shit"? It's never going to mean anything but what it is to me. Man, am I getting old...