Jenna Glatzer, you've got an offer!

The founder of Absolute Write has announced she's self publishing her first issue. (I think they call it "pregnancy" in people, but we avoid saying that word here at Snark Central.)

We've also heard that such publications can be downright expensive. Never fear though, Miss Snark is here with very helpful instructions.

You know how those big ass rich sports franchises make further millions on "naming rights"?

Jenna "The Write Stuff" Glatzer should auction off the naming rights to the upcoming spring edition of "Miss Write".

With a certified check here in my hot little hand for "Miss Awefull Write" who wouldn't want to be named for Miss Snark?

Considering the next one in line is a poodle with attitude and a wad of unmarked bills "Awefull" is sounding a whole lot better than "Killer Yapp Glatzer".

Going! going!... ow! ow! ow! why are daggers flying through the air at my head??


M. G. Tarquini said...

Lala Scrivano taught Ziyi Zhang everything she knows.

Mazel Tov, Jenna! Best wishes for an easy editing experience with a flawless post-production period.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

Me: Bill, I saw you seak into that cute French Alpine's pen. What, exactly, were you two doing?

Bill E. Goat: Self-publishing.

Me: Bill! That has nothing ....

Bill: Miss Snark says it's self publishing. We WERE self publising. Just be thankful we didn't use Publish America!

Me: I'll have to think about this ... And write an email to Miss Snark ...

Bill: Yes, do that. I've got to work on my self-publishing project some more....

Chumplet said...

Lauren if it's a girl, Jake if it's a boy.

M. G. Tarquini said...

I clicked through to Jenna's link and there's an ad at the top of page for this:


It advertises Mr. Jackson's new novel - Offspring.

I am NOT making this up.

Cynthia Bronco said...

Oooh, Oooh!
Orlanda Snakine Bloom.
It's perfect. Who could contest it?

Yasamin said...

lmao Sha'el! thats freaking hilarious!

and good for Glatzer.

Kiskadee said...

She's a girl!

NitWitness said...

Better sweeten that offer up fast, Miss Snark! I hear 'Babs' pooled all the money from a Monopoly game she found in the back of her basement closet. Her plan is to swoop in during labor, disguised as a nurse as the drugs kick in, to buy the rights.

It will be a dark world indeed if we end up with a 'Babbling Glatzer'!

(Heh heh....Hi, Jenna!)
Damn, I'm screwed.......

Maya Reynolds said...

As someone who narrowly missed being named Mona Lisa by a doting Italian father (my mother sent him home to shower, yelled for the nurse and got the naming card filled out in his absence), I am beginning a fund for the protection of Jenna's forthcoming issue.

Please go to PayPal and send your money to NoChildNamedBehind@wtf.com.

Bill E. Goat's evil twin said...

"Goat Glatzer"!
I like it.

Now...where is the pixie purse??

Dawno said...

I have an insider report for you - there was a huge bid offered for "Dragoona Minionette Sparklelite", it might take a pooling of considerable resources to beat that one.

Jenna Glatzer said...


You're not normal, Miss Snark. You know that, right? I mean, I love you and all, but you're not right in the head.

Now, please excuse me while Baby Stephena King Glatzer and I go work on our phonics lessons.

Dave Kuzminski said...

I heard PA bid a dollar on Wilrandry. ;)

Christine said...

Squishi Goferine is out?

Mac's gonna plotz.

Ok how about today's secret word! Jenna's baby will be named...


Miss Snark said...

Stephen King topped my bid.

You're lucky he's not using a title:

"Popsy Glatzer"
"Bag of Bones Glatzer"

I'd be full of awe for Awefull Glatzer!

and even I wouldn't use this word verification: "VorSuoGu Glatzer" sounds like the dinner special at Hung Far Low's Chow Mein Palace.

Nut said...

Snark Glatzer. It is both elegant and unique.

Also, feel free to use any of the followint:

Coco Glatzer;
Hazel Glatzer;
Peanut... ok, maybe not peanut.

Elsa Neal said...

Apple Glatzer?

Sounds like a dessert, but it's fashionable.

All the best Jenna :)