Killer Yapp Gets the Chair

Dear Miss Snark,

I recently landed my dream agent after sending her my 800,000 word manuscript without a SASE, calling her repeatedly to demand representation, and never taking no for an answer. She finally relented, I signed a contract, and hey, life was good.

I think what finally convinced her was the gift basket I sent, which contained a nine volt battery, chewing gum (sugar free of course), a comb, and some dental floss.

Anyway, I happened to be in New York last week and decided to swing by to say hello to her. I found her sitting at her desk with a poodle on the floor next to her. Her shoes had heels that I swear were a foot long, and she was drinking gin like it was water. Worse yet, she was blogging instead of harassing publishers about my masterpiece. And the final insult was that there were submissions and manuscripts OTHER THAN MINE clearly visible in her office.

Should I terminate my contract with her, or is this how all literary agents operate?

KY is never on the floor. KY is at his desk and on the phone. Who do you think deals with those bitches over at ...ack!!! Lightning!

What Miss Snark meant to say was yes, you should terminate yourself at once. The very idea of blogging on company time is just really beyond the ..err...pail.


Anonymous said...

Surely you mean beyond the pale?

Gina Black said...

No. She doesn't.

writtenwyrdd said...

Anon, surely you got the joke?

This was hilarious.

Tattieheid said...

Someone has you well sussed* anyway.

*Scottish colloquial for knows you well and/or caught you out.

Love it. :)

Cara said...

Very witty exchange! Perfect start to the weekend.....

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh, Miss Snark and whoever posted the question!


Snowfie said...

huh...are you sure that was a contract and not a restraining order?

I wonder.