Dear Miss Snark,
My agent is a real turkey. I was all set to feast at the publishing world table with my new book. Then he started dressing me down in front of my publisher and now my gravy deal is at risk. He soured my mood so badly I want to cream him. I might be small potatoes but I still want to mash him for messing up my sweet deal. I mean sure, maybe my book is a corny one, but I still wanted to squash him.
He’s a good egg most of the time so maybe he just bumped his noggin. I mean, he’s been acting like a pumpkin head and has crazy pie in the sky ideas. After the meeting I tried to butter up my publisher. I figure I’ll just roll with the punches.
Any suggestions? Thanks for giving your advice.
I called your agent just to make sure you'd given me the full meal deal. He said "I yam what I yam".