1. "I'd appreciate hearing back from you by November 30". Letter dated 11/5.
oh wait, you want me to read it first? 30 days for a query isn't out of line. Particularly if you've got good pages to read.
clue for the day: no deadlines in a query letter
2. Sending electronic pages as "read only" or pdf is shortsighted. I have no idea why people do this. (If you do, I'd be interested to hear why) Here's why you shouldn't: PDF means I have to can only see one page on the screen; no scrolling. That breaks my focus every single page. Not a good thing if you want to hold my attention.
Second, if I can't cut and paste from your document, I can't show you the three typos in your ten pages. In other words, even if I wanted to help you enough to point them out, you've made it time consuming to do so. Don't.
3. Writing about "hot button" issues like being gay, and dating outside your race, in the hedonisit(ok ok I know--hedonist! sheesh) 60's and 70's is the absolute antithesis of 'fresh and new'. This is particularly true if you lived through it and are writing your own thinly veiled story. The world has moved on. Time to catch up.
4. While you're busy trying to impress me with what a hotshot professional you are by putting your query on your office letterhead, don't forget to give me your direct email. I'm not ever going to request pages from "info@deweycheathamandhoweLLC.comma or "email@example.com".