11.10.2006

Spawn de la Snark

Boy oh boy, you think someone is Evil, and then they turn out to be way beyond that. He claims he didn't write this, but handwriting experts have been summoned. An entire platoon of medicos continue to administer first aid to Miss Snark who fainted dead away at the idea of loinfruit of any kind or source.

27 comments:

katiesandwich said...

Oooh, he is Evil!

Jim Oglethorpe said...

It won't be long until Miss Snark shows up on the US Weekly buzzometer (I know I'm not the only one here who reads it...well, maybe I am). You are the blog's It Girl!

Swordswinger said...

The offspring of Evil Editor and Miss Snark?

Well, obviously whatever its gender it's going to be a new literary superhero - The Red Pen; complete with mask, clue-gun, auto-gin-pail...and pince-nez.

'scuse me. I have to go design a costume. (Runs off, giggling madly).

Termagant 2 said...

So, lemme get this straight: Miss S denies the loinfruit but is mute about the Clooney/EE/MS linkup?

Methinks this smacks of non-denial denial, as Woodstein would say.

T2

Zany Mom said...

Geez. And I thought my characters acted like rabbits...

~Nancy said...

Wow - that was great!

So...what're you going to name the baby? And does EE get a say in that?

Inquiring minds want to know...

~JerseyGirl

Christine said...

(puts on long black robe, lights black candles and chants. Opens large ancient book full of hand-calligrahpied parchment pages)

And the sixth seal was opened. And the child came forth, and it's name was...

Evil Snark.

And the world trembled with fear.

Michael Patrick Leahy said...

The fellows down here in the South have raised a regiment of dragoons to defend the honor of Miss Snark.

Point us in the direction of the Evil Editor and you shall have your vengeance.

Anonymous said...

...fainted dead away at the idea of LOINFRUIT?

This is new. This is awful. This is great. Nothing could nail the Miss Snark personna better.

Inkwolf said...

Nay, sirs, bar not my way, for I am no madwoman, but a pophetess! I have seen visions in the sky, heralding the dawn of a new age, the age of the Villainous Publishing Executive! One comes who will drain dry rivers of Scotch, and terrify the ancent shops of New York with her shoe returns. Born will she be at a writer's conference, where she will sneer, belch forth foul humours, and wee upon the manuscripts of the unpublished. Fawned upon by poodles will she be, yea, and ye shall know her by the ISBN number tattooed upon her buttock, 'neath the one of the tiger flamenco dancer. Beware! Beware!

Chris said...

I think it will be great to have some Snarklets running around the place.

Miss Snark said...

Chris is due to be Saran wrapped to a straightback chair and have "Atlanta Nights" read aloud in its entirety with NO hope of escape before being freed.

Cynthia Bronco said...

Let's look at the scientific loopholes in the story, shall we?

Paternity tests are not performed until after a child is born. Because Mr. C. and E.E. were present at the time of conception, well, alls I gotta say is let's not jump to conclusions.

Bernita said...

Please.
Not another amnesiac's baby....

Anonymous said...

I can see the headlines now;

It's true the end of the world is near. But, there's hope for us yet folks. Good and Evil are now hashing out their problems and together their having a half-breed.

It's the coming of a new era!

John Anthony Sperling said...

"Loinfruit" is now my favorite word.

Anonymous said...

this product of a lustful night knows there's a loon in Clooney?

do not visit the sins of father and mother upon this child... she may be angelic, wear rubie slippers, take council of a real dog, (german shorthair pointer that hunts for a living.) She may guzzle hot chocolate and possess inflamable tresses laced with gold spun from Stiltskin's loom.

judge yee not, for there's much slippage in a threesome trist, nine months of gestation and it's ultimate DNA expression!

Ken Boy said...

"And Evil, darling, don't forget that tonight is dinner at Mumsy and Dadsy's."

"Yes, Snarkums."

"Stop by the liquor store for the gallon jug of Beefeaters. You know how Mumsy loves her Beefeaters."

"Yes, Snarkums."

"And don't forget KY's tam - it should be ready at the dry cleaners."

"Yes, Snarkums."

"Oh, yes, and Huggies for little Evilita. You know how she goes through her huggies."

"Yes, Snarkums."

"Evil?"

"Yes, Snarkums?"

"Say it."

"Erm . . . it?"

"Yes. Say it."

"Well. Ahem. 'Dearest, loveliest Snark!'"

"Good boy, Evil. Now, off to work with you. I have some emailers to eviscerate."

"Yes, Snarkums."

M. G. Tarquini said...

You'll do fine, Miss Snark. Though it's near impossible to get baby puke out of upholstery, you'll be too busy slathering the teething ring with gin to care.

Oh. And those leakproof diapers?

BWAAHAHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Xopher said...

Miss Snark, is it actually possible to read all of Atlanta Nights aloud?

Anonymous said...

And lo the Worldwide Cabal of Dragoons have unleashed the anti-Bauer unto the earth!

Termagant 2 said...

Gin, I'm told, takes baby puke out of upholstery.

However, I've never tried it. I use my gin for nobler purposes.

T2, whose verif. word is fuquinsed...no elucidation necessary.

McKoala said...

Actually gin might just work, although, obviously sacrilege to even think about it.

Baby wipes take stains out of almost anything and I'm told it's because they have alcohol in them, but I haven't yet managed to suck sufficient fluid out of a pack to verify this.

Anonymous said...

Xopher: Miss Snark, is it actually possible to read all of Atlanta Nights aloud?

It has to be done in shifts by readers who will never be needed to function normally again. I'm told Tor interns serve nicely, but I hasten to add that may be mere hearsay, as I've never actually...met...a Tor intern....

Hmm.

Aconite

lauowolf said...

Evil Snark?
Or Miss-Editor, loinfruit's evil-twin.

GutterBall said...

It's like fanfiction run amok. Worse, crossover fanfiction! Dear God, what have they done??

Kristen King said...

Oh my. Um, congratulations?