Crapometer Info

This will also go up on the Happy Hooker Crapometer blog.

The FAQ at the Crapometer blog has also been updated today, Monday, 12/11.

The Crapometer opens on Friday 12/15 at 8pm (EST).

That means you've got about 4 days to go.

Just a reminder.
You'll send an email with your hook of 250 words.

You must also include "Ok to post this on the blog" AT THE TOP of the email. It doesn't count in the 250 words.

I'm not spell checking so you might want to double czech ur spelz be4 u cast them into the wind.

ALL hooks get posted unless you've screwed up in some completely idiotic way. If there's a chance to fix it I MIGHT email you with that option. This is NOT a given. Get it right the first time.

I'll comment very very briefly on each hook. Be fully prepared for "this sux"; "wtf" and "try to write in English" and other very very snarky comments. If you have thin skin, a tender heart, and/or are easily persuaded to put your manuscript in a gas oven, think twice before sending.

Some hooks will succeed. From those I will ask for pages. You'll have a VERY brief window to send pages. Think 48 hours or less (not fewer!).

This crapometer is for first pages. The hook part is just to winnow down the entries in as fair a way as possible. There is no set number of people I will ask for pages.

Don't send early.
Don't send late.

You WILL get an email from me when your pages are received. If you don't get it by mid day on Saturday email me again saying you sent it and I didn't respond. You'll need to FORWARD the original email, not resend it (forwards have time stamps).

Any questions?
I'm sure you do.
Email away.


Anonymous said...

can we use a blurb from an author (one that I actually got) in our hook?

Anonymous said...

PS (the blurb guy)- and if the quote has our real name in it, should we leave that in? And the author's?

Anonymous said...

Blurb guy - she tends to lets those who don't read instructions twist in the wind. Her exact words were:

Any questions?
I'm sure you do.
Email away.

(Emphasis added. Check the FAQ for her email addy.)

Anonymous said...

Blurb guy, you'd better read the Crapometer FAQ, since it doesn't sound like you have.

One of the many useful things the FAQ says is that Miss Snark is going to post everything she gets exactly as she gets it. So if you don't want your real name in it, don't use it.

And personally, I wouldn't waste my precious 250 words with someone else's quote that cannot be easily verified, but it's your hook, not mine.

writerdog said...

If you STILL have questions at this point you have NOT been paying attention; so please do not submit a hook, it is too painful for the rest of us to watch.

Anonymous said...

A blurb is not a hook. It's back jacket copy for the reader/buyer, not an agent.

I'd think any mention of blurbs would be done *outside* of the hook in the query letter. I, too, have a multi-published author willing to blurb my book (she's read it) but so far I haven't mentioned that in the query, as I don't think it's that important. I may be all wet, though.

Anonymous said...

Blurb from an author? Hmm, and here I felt guilty for including a mini-synopsis with my hook.

No matter said...

I am but a new snarkling, and not one to put words into the mouth of the great Miss Snark, but I'm sure I've read on here somewhere that if your writing is good enough, it will stand out, whether you have a great blurb from a published author or not...

HawkOwl said...

I'm totally looking forward to the "WTF" ones.

Zany Mom said...

I think I'm looking forward to being shredded. Better Miss Snark than agents I'm actually querying. To find out now that my hook stinks. ;)

Previous versions have met with requests for partials and a full by agents; recent crits of my hook by other writers have met with ridicule and wtf's. So I guess there is a lot of personal preference at work here.

Revised hook ready and waiting. Do I dare?

Alley Splat said...

Hawkowl said:

I'm totally looking forward to the "WTF" ones.

Me too (though mine'll probably be one!)

Verif Word: flobjif - the sound of an ego deflating under a snarkritique.

original anon said...

thanks, you're right - it said Email away. Miss Snark said the purpose of this is to hook her; and my blurb has worked in "real life" - and I do recommend it in query letters, if you've got one. The blurb probably got more people to see my book than the actual hook did. Still not sure if I'm entering the Crapometer, though.