HH 428

When Luke meets Rebecca in a copy store, he doesn't remember her. In fact, he is surprised that they'd attended the same school in Mallorca thirty years ago. They seem to have little in common except for a tattered yearbook.

As they become reacquainted, he admires her determination to save her son from Neuroblastoma, a rare cancer. He wants to help, since he'd lost his wife to breast cancer and is raising his son alone.

He wonders why he'd never noticed Rebecca in school. She seems to appreciate his support, but keeps her distance. He convinces himself that the friendship between their sons is the bond that holds the adults together.

Rebecca remembers Luke. She had a crush on him during her year in Mallorca, and their reunion triggers fond and painful memories. Her experiences had transformed her from a shy teenager into a confident woman. The only thing missing was Luke, a handsome, brash youth with a girlfriend of his own.

Like snapshots, Rebecca recalls the events in Spain that shaped her life – a life that could have been different if she'd shared it with Luke.

The Yearbook intertwines joy and sorrow as Luke and Rebecca struggle to deal with the fickle nature of her son's disease, and as both of their children provide a simple outlook on life and death, an outlook that adults tend to lose with time. The message is a celebration of a young life, and a tribute to a strong mother.

no no . never. No "messages" unless they're in a gin bottle and say "help I'm trapped on a desert island with a basketball named Wilson".

There's no plot here.
there's no conflict.
There's no antagonist.
There's no hook.


Anonymous said...

Wait...aren't Luke and Rebecca characters in the "Shopaholic" books by Sophie Kinsella?

Anonymous said...

Volleyball. It's a volleyball named Wilson.

That, and I have some big authenticity problems with the first three paragraphs. I don't believe that is how those characters behaved. A man like him would be trying to fulfill his needs first, for example. People are just not that selfless and benevolent under those circumstances, but what do I know? I'm spraying Cheez-Whiz on multi-grain toast right now.

good luck.

Anonymous said...

Miss Snark mentions 'Cast Away'. I wonder who's the antagonist there. I suppose Loneliness?

Twill said...

Seemed really nice to me. In a good way.

Keep writing.

Anonymous said...

If you are writing a book for adults, about young parents, you'd best steer clear of describing one of them as a "brash youth" which, apart from being hackneyed, makes him sound about 16.

If this is about teenaged parents and is a YA, you don't say so.

I think you need to put this one aside as a therapy exercise of sorts and work on your next, but it's just a guess. (My own tearjerker never sold, despite many full reads.)

Chumplet said...

This one is unique (at least I'm guessing it is) in that the present day is told in the forty-something Luke's POV, and the high school crush period is told in Rebecca's teenage POV.

It's an interesting exercise, for sure. I don't know if I can pull it off, but we'll see.

A plot would certainly help.