HH Com 114

Dang! Now that was an explosion! Poor Clyde shook from his crooked toes to his disheveled locks. Cletus slid off with his tail tucked firmly between his legs, mumbling something about humans being the death of all dogs. Mr. Tittles could hardly be blamed for his cat-like indignation.

It was an explosion of renovation and instantaneous revitalization, creating superpowers in ordinary who happened into the library, beginning a quest for love, and pitting a mechanic against the mighty strength of the publishing industry’s evil villain, Lawrence Willingbott, III, for the hand of one fair maiden, Lillian. Or, perhaps Lawrence just wants Lillian’s book.

One tale. Four genres. One cast of characters. Four sets of superpowers. From John comes the sci-fi world of talking cats and quantum mechanics fixing mathematical problems. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that humorist Allen would give Lillian the ability to change hair color and breast size with the shake of her head. Judy conveys the ultimate superpower in romance writing, the power to create love from hate. Completing this tale is Kevin, scaring Beelzebub out of your shorts and conjuring spells in Lawrence’s dungeon.

Four novellas all alike? Forget it! Travel through Shakespearean England for romance, or walk the moon trails with Mr. Tittles. You can smell the stench of a jail cell in hell, or sip coffee with Clyde, our lovable mechanic, in a local Waffle House. One tale told four ways. 4Play!

Ok, here's the usual advice exception. Everywhere else I've said "focus on charachter". Here of course you can't. Here you need to focus on the FORM. If you've got four novels in four genres (and this strikes me as impossible but never mind that now) you need to LEAD with that and then give us the point at which they intersect....I think. See..I'm real confused about what this exactly is and that's a huge problem when you're querying. I really really need to know what it is.

One thing I will say for this though: no sainted siblings!

Back to the Waffle House for more coffee and revisions.


Anonymous said...

Revise your names:



There are LOTS of letters out there, no need to repeat them in the names.

Anonymous said...

I loved the first paragraph. The rest of it was bad because you never really explain what's going on as Miss Snark says.

I would pass on the this because I hate talking animals. Also, why do the women have lame superpowers. Changing your hair color and breast size and some kind romance thing? Seriously? Changing hair color is not a superpower.

shannon said...

I was lost from the first sentence, and the "one tale told four ways" can work but what is the TALE?

Who ARE these people?

What is their relationshp/connection to each other?

I'm so confused...

JPD said...

I thought it was sarcasm, and an in-joke intended for Miss Snark, same as HH38. But what do I know...


Anonymous said...

The overall idea sounds a little like David Mitchell's Cloud Atlas. If that's the case, then maybe you should mention Cloud Atlas to give people a rough idea of how the structure works.

(Cloud Atlas is very much a love-it-or-hate-it book, though. Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.)

thraesja said...

It certainly has all the flaws mentioned above. Yet, strangely, I want to read it.