HH Com 120

For centuries, angels have walked among humans and succumbed to the pleasures of the flesh. This practice has spawned the Nephilim, powerful beings who are feared by their human kin, and scorned by their angelic parents.

The angels are a race divided. The Bright Host enforce God’s will, and hunt both Nephilim and disobedient angels with equal fervor. The Dark Host, indifferent to their bastard children’s plight, bide their time in the ruins of Eden and seek to reopen Paradise to their beloved humans.

Silver, born to the angel Lorin, knows nothing of our (brutal POV shift here) world. His six-century existence has consisted of long periods locked in a stone prison, hidden from human and angel alike. He emerges only at his mother’s command, to slaughter the Nephilim. His power is limitless, yet he obeys Lorin unconditionally.

When the Bright Host mark Lorin for death, she calls on the one angel she still trusts, and confides in him the terrible secret Silver holds. Her final wish is to have her son destroyed. However, Remmael can’t bring himself to kill this seemingly innocent creature, and sets Silver free.

Released from his mother’s absolute control, Silver is thrust into an ancient conflict in which all sides believe him the solution. The Bright Host want him annihilated. The Dark Host crave his power. The Nephilim desire his allegiance. Silver must choose his own path, for he holds the power to restore Eden...or to destroy the world.

This is a synopsis, not a hook.

Focus on Silver. Don't explain everythinig. Show us his dilemma.


Rhona said...

This sounds a lot like The Fallen....and I like it.

December Quinn said...

I do love this premise. The idea of angels unable to resist the sins of the flesh is really appealing, and I like the way everybody wants something different from Silver.

Southern Writer said...

I got to read a little of this story, and it's killer!

ello said...

REally interesting, but I had to read it twice in order to understand the premise. I agree with Miss. Snark to focus on Silver who sounds awesome but I don't know how you get rid of the other stuff which seems key to the storyline. All I know is that I want to read it.

So, what's Silver's secret? I NEED to know!

Dave said...

Too many words again:
You say: "Silver, born to the angel Lorin, knows nothing of our (brutal POV shift here) world. His six-century existence has consisted of long periods locked in a stone prison, hidden from human and angel alike."

I would say: "Locked away, hidden from man, the angel Silver is marked for death."

Then you can talk about his Moses style escape.

S. W. Vaughn said...

Gotcha! :-) Thank you, Miss Snark. Exactly what I wanted to know -- what it needed. Focus, grasshopper, focus!

Thanks to the commentors: rhona, I'd never heard of The Fallen before. Gotta check it out! December, Southern, thanx!!

ello, that was my problem! :-) I couldn't figure out how to do it without the other stuff... LOL and if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret. *G*

S. W. Vaughn said...

Thank you, Dave! Great suggestion.

LOL I think the (brutal POV shift here) was Miss Snark -- though I do adore brutality. :-)

HawkOwl said...

Hell yeah!

Even if this turns out to suck, it will suck on a grand scale.

S. W. Vaughn said...

Why, thank you, hawkowl!

Hmmm: "This sucks, but it sucks on a grand scale." Maybe I could use that in my query? LOL

A Paperback Writer said...

I like the backstory. Promiscuous angels. Hmmm. Maybe you should do a whole prequel to this. I want to read THAT story.

Anonymous said...

I can tell you, it's not The Fallen by T. Jefferson Parker.

So, perhaps an author to go with the book, rhona?

Anonymous said...

I saw something like this in the paranormal racks at Wal*Mart last week and a couple days ago critiqued another one in the paranormal thread on Absolute Write.

The writer is directed to read "Good Omens" several times and "Paradise Lost" at least once.

Jeremy James said...

It also sounds a *LITTLE* like my novel :)...the hook of which Miss Snark will hopefully still be getting to in the very near future.

thraesja said...

I like this one too. My nitpick is that I don't see how his power can be limitless. If it is, how would he be killed. Wouldn't that make him, I dunno, God?
Great premise, I wish Miss Snark'd asked for pages, as I'd like to see more of it.