12.19.2006

HH Com 189

In the prehistory of mankind, two-hundred rogue angels called The Watchers descended from heaven to take wives. As punishment, God banished them to the Outer Darkness, and vowed to eradicate their half-angel, half-human sons (the Nephilim) from the face of the earth.

Jequon, known as The Protector among his people, is one of these innocent bastards, and has fought hard for millennia to keep the Nephilim alive.

It hasn't been easy.

In Noah's day, God unleashed The Great Flood to exterminate the Nephilim; numerous curses and plagues would follow, all to no avail. So near the end of The Age of Miracles, God outsourced His holy-caust, to a devout sect called The Sons Of Jared (SOJ). Their mandate: to
complete His dirty work and exterminate the Nephilim. Their reward? An encoded scroll with instructions to unleash The Great Tribulation, the beginning of The End of Days.

Still Jequon and his noble people thrived—until now…

Centuries of sporadic SOJ success have yielded to a newfound killing efficacy. And Jequon, once The Protector, must fight to simply survive—no easy task given the SOJ's infiltration of the U.S. government, and the formidable resources now at their disposal. Jequon's best hope? a woman named Mercy, characterized by her faith in the same God who wants him dead. As Jequon helps Mercy search for her missing protégé (whom the SOJ kidnapped), an unlikely attraction begins to form, and the two must face the ironies of an undying love
doing battle with blind faith.

Takes a lot of hubris to make God the bad guy in a novel, but I'm the one who said I love Satan so I guess I had it coming.

This is of course a mess.
You're awash in world building and back story.
Start with what's going on now: Jequon and Mercy are...doing what? And why is Mercy his best hope? And if God wants them dead, why do I want them to live?

16 comments:

Virginia Miss said...

Some interesting stuff, but lose all the capital letters, please.
Consider using "Sons" instead of SOJ for subsequent mentions of the Sons of Jared.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

See Miss Snark, I knew those satan comments would come back to get you...LOL!

Actually, irregardless of the bad form, LOL...I recently read a book that sounds almost like this...called of all things..."The Nephilim"...hmmm, imagine that!

merper said...

Lol, I really think you should change the Sons of Jared name. I keep imagining plump little subway guys speedwalking after an angel that just can't manage to fly away.

Anonymous said...

What keeps God from simply shooting a well placed lightning bolt at each target? Maybe its just me, but that's always bothered me in various "God" plots. If He/She/It can create the entire Universe, you'd think knocking out so and so or doing such and such miracle would just be a parlor trick

Don said...

Wow lots of nephilim stories going on here... must be something in the pop culture that I've missed out on...

Jeremy James said...

At risk of public humiliation, let me address a few of these comments...

Bonnie, "The Nephilim," by Marzulli involves UFO mythology--nothing like my novel. Nephilim: The Fallen Ones, by McDonald, portrays the Nephilim as aggressive enemies of humanity (again, nothing like my novel). Not sure which one you read, but I appreciate your comments. As to "bad form," guilty...just like so many others who learned the hard way what a Miss Snark "hook" should be. I'll do better next time.

merper, thank's for the funny visual, but for reasons I won't go into here, I'll be keeping the name.

anonymous, as for what keeps God from shooting lighting bolts at those he disapproves of, all I can surmise, is that it's the same reason he allows serial killers and people who enjoy Britney Spears to walk the earth among us--or why he doesn't just appear in the clouds and tell the world, "yes, I really exist."

don, I don't think you've missed out on any pop-culture. Wikipedia lists a few popular works involving the mention of nephilim, but nowhere near as many as, say, vampires...

Thanks for the comments everyone! It's been a learning experience.

wavybrains said...

As a premise, I'm loving this. Is this a love story? Sell that first--the rest is set-up/world-building/plot--make us care that they end up to together and then we'll care about the fate of his kind. Any book that makes God the bad guy has something going for it.

Rei said...

I like the premise. Too vague on what's going on in the present, though, just like Miss Snark mentioned.

skybluepinkrose said...

I've also seen Nephilim a lot lately, although not from their POV -- unless the novel Bonnie references is. I haven't read it.

God doesn't zap just anything and everything with lightning bolts, or satan would have been history before Eden. So that doesn't bother me.

BuffySquirrel said...

The US government is more powerful than God? Hubris, hubris.

writtenwyrdd said...

Storm Constantine has already beat you on this concept. Her books about the Ananagi are following this exact precept. Can you compete with this? Maybe. But I suggest you check out what she is done so you don't look like a poor copy. Her writing is powerful.

Anonymous said...

So that makes what? approximately 100 pitches about Nephilim? Move over, vampires...

Anonymous said...

I had no idea there are so many nephilim stories. Because mine is one too. Now I'm worried. But there are huge differences. The poster makes a great point that there are tons of vampire novels out there. so maybe we can all peacefully co-exist.

I liked your premise and would probably pick it up at the store, as soon as mine was sent off for queries.

Jeremy James said...

Thanks for the additional comments everyone! Let me address the new ones now...

wavybrains, thanks for the feedback. Indeed, as Miss Snark pointed out, I wasted my flawed "hook" on backstory. The novel itself is multi-viewpoint, and challenging for me to sum up in only 250 words (there are many story lines I weave together). I just tried to pick something that would get an agent curious to read the actual prose (and failed). The developing love between the Nephilim protagonist and the heroine, Mercy, is indeed a major plot thread weaving through the whole story, though, so if you read it someday, you'll like that aspect, wavybrains.

rei--thanks for the feedback. I have learned a valuable lesson about blowing my wad on backstory when I'm trying to pitch a story!

skybluepinkrose--*exactly* :)

buffysquirrel-- I guess I can understand where your comment comes from, but I'm not trying to say the U.S. government is more powerful than God, believe me (I'm a libertarian after all). In fact, the US gov ends up getting screwed by people devoted to God in the book. Thanks for your feedback, though.

writtenwrd--I am indeed familiar with Storm's books, and no, I'm not trying to rehash her work. For one thing, my novel will be a *thriller* with mythological elements, not the other way around (no magic powers in this book).

Finally, I just want to address the unintended "God is the bad guy" perspective that my failed hook provoked... I'm not shooting for something so straight forward and simplistic in this book. A major theme in my writing is the ambiguity of what's "good" for humanity. God doesn't even make an appearance, only certain religious groups and sects that have different interpretations of what "serving God" means. My book endeavors to let the reader decide who the "bad guys" are, while making it easy to at least root for the protagonist.

Any-hoo, thanks again for the comments everyone. This is what makes reading blogs worthwhile!

murm said...

is a nephil a full-blooded half-angel half-human, or just someone with some angel dna?

if it's full-blooded, they must be getting reeeeally inbred by now (a problem addressed in the graphic novel "preacher", which includes both the secret-descendants-of-jesus & god-as-a-villain tropes).

if you just need to have an angel ancestor, somewhere up the line.... well, as we learn from geneaology, if someone lived long enough ago, they'll now have either thousands of descendants or none. & the further back it goes, the truer it is.

so if nephilim are reproducing & dying at normal human rates, for millenia, basically, they should be all dead or half the people on the planet should be nephilim.

Jeremy James said...

murm-- GREAT point, and one I have addressed in my novel! To greatly oversimplify, the explanation is that the Nephilim are all male, can only mate with a fully human female (who is rendered infertile after giving birth), and that offspring only have enough "Nephilim Blood" to be considered Nephilim up to the 3rd generation. Further, every aspect of the Nephilim's lives that would impact the spread of their virus-like angelic DNA is addressed by their societal "codes" of conduct.

Without boring everyone with the details, suffice it to say, Nephilim reproduction, feeding, and much more is governed by a Power Law (like so many biological processes)...

Oh, and to answer your original question: 200 rogue angels (The Watchers--see The Book of Enoch from the apocrypha) took human form, descended from heaven, and copulated with the 200 most beautiful women of earth at that time, resulting in 200 half-human, half-angel Nephilim. The Nephilim would naturally live to be 120 to the 1-and-one-half power (exponent = 1.5--all human but half angel--base = 120, corresponding to the longest possible human lifespan), but by drinking blood, are able to maintain their youth indefinitely--and yes, there is a bloodtype that is immune, and their blood feedings are regulated by their codes (I did the math :)

[note: yes I do realize what a wack job this comment makes me sound like]

Thanks murm!