A Better Life begins with rural and poor Hollis Dixon looking for an escape from his small Montana town and miscarried family. Bright and striving, college promises the way for him until his young wife dies suddenly while giving birth. As a single father, plagued by fear of failure and impoverishment, Hollis begins a career as a fast talking, number massaging car salesman. While Hollis builds a battlement of financial security, his children must face expectations, failures, and the hierarchy of dysfunction that haunts their family before they can each begin the better life they all so desperately want.
This is a fraternity prank right?
(the writer is a college student; I redacted the specific college to protect his English teacher from immolation on the spot).
"builds a battlement of financial security"?
"hierarchy of dsyfunction"?
You don't need a hook.
You need more practice.