12.20.2006

HH Com 193 (189)

Rosemary is not the type of girl who goes on adventures - at least not until she steps on the head of a talking fairy-turned-gopher, and her world flips upside down.

Suddenly, she learns that there is a gopher-city growing beneath her farm, and if she doesn't act soon, her land will collapse and her farm will disappear underground forever.

With her parents away at the Giant Fruit and Vegetable Competition and precious little time to waste, Rosemary sets off on a quest with a sixty-five year old shaman, a poetry-spewing magic mirror, and a handful of species-confused rodents. Their goal: to persuade the illustrious (and slightly insane) Fairy King to remove his courtiers and return her home to normal before it's too late.

Of course, this would be much easier if there weren't pixies, giant flying snakes and grown men in lavender tights constantly getting in her way.

Just as I'm about ready to say "you're kidding right" it occurs to me to think what a hook for Charlotte's Web or Stuart Little might be.

This is the right form for a hook.

It's all going to come down to the writing!

23 comments:

Dave said...

"species-confused rodents"
That sold it for me. And I had the same type of "WHAT?" reaction because it is so enticing and then funny.

Virginia Miss said...

This sounds cute. I liked the writing (Giant Fruit and Vegetable Competition). Some tropes (shaman, magic mirror) but enough stuff here that hints at something different. Other things that appealed: species-confused rodents and flying snakes.
Good luck, author.

Elfje said...

This is fun. This is exactly what I'd want to read if I was in the mood for some silliness. Brilliant.

Anonymous said...

Great hook - I think this is the most enticing of the Crapometer so far.

Heidi the Hick said...

Wow! Farming and Fairy tales in the same story!

Get it written and make it good because I want to read it!

Inkwolf said...

Fairy gophers! Men in lavender tights, too! :D

Oh, my--this sounds like a fun read to me. I'd snag it off the bookstore shelf in a minute!

Hypergraphia said...

Can't wait to see what you do with the poetry spouting mirror. That will be fun!

Anonymous said...

I would want to read this, definitely.

I Said said...

Good job--shows that when done well, even a grocery list can grab someone's attention.

I also like the story line!

Writerious said...

As long as it stays quirky and doesn't fade to silly, I'm in.

Hey, I think I've got some of those fairy gophers in my yard. Either that or they're making regular trips over to the Espresso Hut.

dana p said...

What a trip! I'm usually fairy-phobic, but I love this one.

Anonymous said...

"grown men in lavender tights"

this suggests to me it's silly, but the writer knows it. i'd totally read this and it's not even what i'd usually read.

Kristi said...

I loved this hook. Loved it. Maybe because I have a similiar hook coming up in the 600s...but I really, really, really like this one.

The Smallest Rossiter said...

I love it. It really makes me want to read it.

Anonymous said...

Alice in Wonderland for the new generation. It could very well work.

wavybrains said...

Adorable. I can't wait to see more. This sounds like a great book to read aloud.

Diana Peterfreund said...

I think this sounds adorable... "you know, for kids!"

The writing in the hook is excellent. I hope the pages are the same. Get thee a good agent!

KingM said...

I think this is the best hook I've read so far. Nicely done.

jamiehall said...

I had the same reaction. I started suffering from an ever-growing sentiment of "WTF" but I kept reading for some reason, and by the end it was cute and funny.

McKoala said...

'fairy-turned-gopher' hooked me - why would a fairy make that particular decision? Enquiring minds need to know!

anon13 said...

species-confused rodents.

This made me smile. :D

I'd totally read this. Assuming the actual story is as cute as this hook, anyway.

A Paperback Writer said...

I am highly amused. :)

The author said...

*babbles incoherently for a moment*

Thanks so much for the feedback. I'm glad that people noticed that I was aiming to write a children's fantasy, not something serious.

And now to sweat over pages...