HH Com 224 (220)

A man seeks the answer to his troubles but gets a lot more than he bargains for. How is he to know that things are rarely what they seem, and even when they are, they’re still not?

Mack Strife cannot understand why women and life are so difficult. He decides to solve the problem, once and for all, and leaves on a journey to the summit of Golden Mountain, where he has great faith the Femme lives. She is the perfect, immortal embodiment of woman, and She is God. Once he sets eyes on Her, a transformation will take place, and eternal peace will be his.

Near the beginning of his journey, however, he becomes entangled with a young warrioress, Elle Wing, on a holy journey herself. She is definitely not perfect and apparently designed to make infernal difficulties. Sometimes together, sometimes apart, the two travel through lands and cities peopled with traders, monks, religious zealots, rivers and mountains, winds and
spirits, demons and slavers, on to the peak where She lives.

Both have intelligent minds, seeking answers in their own ways. Do they find Her? Well, maybe they do, and maybe they don’t, it’s hard to say precisely. But maybe, just maybe... they find each other.

Dear dog. Warrioress? Named "Elle"??? She's what...Legally Blondage?

You've got more fundamental problems here than the hook. You've got an unenticing hero, a woman seen as an object and no plot.

If this is supposed to be a parody or a comic novel, it went right over my head.

This is a mess.


Anonymous said...

Now I have Mack the Knife stuck in my head. Thanks, author.

Anonymous said...

Lose everything, then tell me about the problems that Elle causes, get more specific about what troubles he needs to face in order to get to the place where he finds this "perfect" woman, and for dog's sake, lose the "maybe, just maybe" I hate that. So what's compelling about him? Elle seems like the most interesting one.

McKoala said...

Strife's in strife.

Anonymous said...

"...through lands and cities peopled with traders, monks, religious zealots, rivers and mountains, winds and spirits, demons and slavers..."

How can lands and cities be peopled with rivers, mountains, etc.?

You lost me at "warrioress," because it's such a sexist term. There's nothing in the dictionary definition of "warrior" that says warriors are male. If this guy is enlightened enough to believe in a female supreme being, I don't think he'd use a term that makes Elle sound like less than a real warrior.

HawkOwl said...

I think the first paragraph summarizes pretty much every conceivable plot. Except the ones where the protagonist is female, or an insect.

The rest is pretty much a WTF moment for me.

cm allison said...

At first from the protag's name I thought you were writing in current time, current world. Threw me when you switched to fantasy.