Connie Mulqueen's lover is lying dead on the floor of room 217 in the Starlite Motel. Next to him, and just as dead, is Joey Paloma, the hired muscle sent by Connie's husband to catch her in the act.
The motel housekeeper claims that Connie ran out of the room, crashed into a cleaning cart along the balcony and then inexplicably ran back into the room. That's when the gunshots rang out.
Henry Templeton and his veteran partner, Rich Houghton are the detectives assigned to the case.
Always able to manipulate men, Connie senses a weakness in Templeton and uses it to her advantage, keeping him at bay and finally getting him suspended from the department.
Connie's intention is to wrest control of her husband's business empire away from him. Unknown to her, someone else is lurking in the shadows, seeking to destroy Connie and what she is trying to accomplish.
His personal life crumbling, Detective Templeton's growing attraction to Connie distorts his ability to make rational decisions, putting his career, his marriage, and both their lives in danger.
Well, you've got the idea of what a hook is supposed to be but the execution needs work. First, you generally don't want to start with a specific incident and get bogged down in that. You want to introduce Connie first. "Connie, fleeing the room 217 at the starlight motel and two dead bodies, needs to hold on to her now-dead husband's business empire. Detective Templeton, finding Connie a dish, is hard pressed to think with anything other than his...well, you get the idea.
Then give us the antagonist. Then give us the stakes.
Write a very very plain, unembellished hook in the right form. THEN you can tinker around with it and polish it up.