HH Com 243 (239)

Talen is the runty, teenage son of an oppressed farmer. But that hasn't stopped him. He's got wit. He's got guts. And, most importantly, he's got prospects with the glass master's daughter.

Life is good, but Talen lives in a world where the days of your life can be harvested, bought, and stolen. Few know the secrets of this power: only the great Divines and the rumored soul-eaters, dark ones who steal from man and beast and become twisted by their polluted draws. The problem is that soul-eaters are found among Talen's people. The kingdom musters a massive hunt, and Talen not only discovers that his family is hiding fugitive soul-eaters, but they themselves are part of that order.

Talen is forced into a struggle with lords, monsters, Dreadmen warriors, a girl named Sugar, and secrets from the ancient past. Along the way he discovers that human Divines are not the real lords of the land--they are merely overseers, ranching humans like cattle, harvesting the days of their subjects to feed alien beings called the Mothers. In the end, Talen must face the fact that he himself is not all human and fight the Mother that bred him to be her overseer.

You should know that X (aka Y) has offered to provide a cover quote for the novel.

You should know that "cover quote" is called a blurb.

This is a lot of verbiage for "guy finds out his mom is sucking the life out of him". You're not giving us specifics. Talen discovers X. He's morally outraged by Y. He has to overcome Z in order for L to occur/not occur.

Start again.


M. Takhallus. said...

You're blowing smoke with generalities because you haven't worked through the details of the story. I know because I try to get away with it myself. But it shows through the hook. You have to do the heavy lifting, (not the whole book but enough) then write the hook.

Anonymous said...


Your diagnosis is wrong--the book IS written. Of course, that doesn't invalidate your response. I would be interested in seeing an example of what you mean by details. Or even highlight the parts that felt like I hadn't written the book already.