12.15.2006

HH Com 25

The slaying of her beloved father Lord Hugh in his own forest forces fourteen-year-old Lady Anne of Longwood to realize her life has been changed forever. Her father’s love and his treasured lessons in Aristotle’s logic are now only memories, and with mounting dread, she finds herself completely at the mercy of her mother, who wants to betroth Anne in order to augment her own power and wealth. When her mother abruptly sends Anne away to Stowford Castle to live with the earl’s family as a companion to her cousin, the Lady Elizabeth, Anne begins to hear rumors and innuendoes surrounding her mother, and she suspects her mother has led a hidden, secret life. After she learns of her mother’s staggering betrayal of the bargain she made with her about Stowford, Anne plunges into a world of conspiracy and intrigue trying to find the truth about her father’s death. When Anne discovers the frightening power of words to shape and shatter lives, how will she be able to draw on her intelligence and courage to discover who murdered her father -- and to challenge her mother’s ruthless control of her life?



this is all smoke and mirrors. Give me specifics. And poor fatherless smart girls---oh dear dog, when will we see the last of them? Maybe Anne is glad the old geezer is dead because she finds that Aristotle is all Greek to her.

5 comments:

HawkOwl said...

You're starting with a pronoun that doesn't have an antecedent. That's bad. Also, "her mother" apparently has no name. That's bad. Also it sounds like a Mary-Sue story written by a fourteen-year-old girl who feels her mother is too controlling.

Xiqay said...

I don't know--this seemed like Hamlet with a sex change. I liked Hamlet. Not bad, imho.

December Quinn said...

I actually quite like the "Mother is evil" thing. But then, maybe that's because I have my own mother issues.

Anonymous said...

I also though this was written by a kid... lots of angst, father envy and mother loathing... There are a few YA bloggers in the CoM.. I almost emailed MS about this posting, just to ask about the source...

If this was written by a kid, then it was a good try! If not, then, umm, refer back to MS's scathing rebuke...

Anonymous said...

You need to look at the amount of redundancy and repetition in this (eg "rumors and innuendoes"; "a hidden, secret life"; "conspiracy and intrigue"). And the first sentence is awful.