HH Com 252 (249)

Snow Jordan’s husband is no ordinary soldier, and when he is killed in Afghanistan, he doesn’t stay dead. Julius is drawn back into the world of the Fae and all its political shenanigans. His wife is kidnapped, his father murdered, his brother turned mad, and Julius is injured so badly his heart becomes weak. If he doesn’t find the hand behind his troubles his death will become real.

From a peaceful acreage in Alberta, Canada, Snow is flung into a world of magic and mayhem. When it sinks in that the Fae are real and that her husband is a shapeshifter, her world is turned upside down. Undaunted, she fights for her sanity and her husband’s life against fantastic creatures and godlings.

Is Julius her husband? And if she's fighting for him, will he come back to life, or does she float off into the world of the Fae with him as a modern version of Persephone?

You've got the idea of a hook down right but it doesn't work because there's no sense of who the antagonist is. It's a faceless "world of Fae" and much as I adore political shenanigans and mayhem of any sort, I still want some specifics.


Henna said...

Thank you Miss Snark!

The Really Good Thing here is, that by the time you got to my entry I had already predicted what you would say, although, I have to be honest, I was expecting a wtf? :)

But, going through all the others, I'd already seen what was missing. A brilliant learning curve.

I am now looking forward to seeing the pages pulled apart as well.

Thank you. Your time is really appreciated.

Virginia Miss said...

If the story's not set there, don't mention afghanistan, that throws the reader off-- the fae and shapeshifter stuff is really jarring after that.
When I first read this, I didn't get that Julius was Snow Jordan's husband.
I think when you re-write this you'll have something interesting.

dana p, the fairy-phobe said...

I figure that if you can get *me* interested in reading a novel with fairies //shudder//, you must be doing *something* right. I loved the prospect of Snow grappling with this crazy supernatural element that's been dumped into her "normal world" life.

I too wasn't sure at first that Julius was Snow's husband. If you call him "Julius Jordan" when you first mention him, that solves the problem.