Doomed From The Start is a 78,000 word novel about Christine Davis, who can’t quite figure out if she’s suffering from one heck of a hangover after her big job promotion party, or if she’s really dead, as she’s escorted by angels to the “Get to know Heaven” orientation.
From her first baby step when her foot went through the floor, to her early demise due to a raspberry seed stuck in her teeth, Christine’s life has been doomed. Now, facing the pearly gates of Heaven at only 28, walking under angels flying in formation spelling out “Welcome”, she becomes more and more convinced she must be dreaming. Or she might be in Hell, as she finds herself face to face with her “life coach”, who happens to be Mrs. Schwartz, her nightmare inducing fourth grade teacher. Mrs. Schwartz hands Christine a “Life for Dummies” handbook and informs her she has a choice to make. Either follow her guidance and sit through an excruciating analysis of her life’s worst moments or end up a bug in the next life.
Albert Brooks crossed with Kafka.
This is such an over used plot that it's really hard to not say junk it and come up with something else.
What you have here is the backstory. The start of the story is meeting Mrs. Schwartz. And what's wrong with being a bug? You act like bugs aren't the dominant force on the planet. Building pyramids may be big and showy but can you drive people to distraction just by showing up at a picnic??