Where were you on the night of December 30th, 1999?
My narrator was under a palm thatch roof in an open-air beach bar in Costa Rica, drinking Pilsens with two-dozen of his newest, closest friends. The bartender had cranked up the stereo for an extended Dead jam and forgot to turn it down. As a small TV silently flashed images of anonymous crowds at millennium celebrations he thought about how much he loved the beach.
His love affair had started when he was teenager in California in the early ‘60s and continued after he sold his computer business and moved to Kauai. Then his wife developed island fever and demanded Xanax and a return to the mainland. Boy gets beach, boy loses beach and now he was back at a tropical beach party on the Pacific. In all of human history few had ever been lucky enough to enjoy life like this.
So why did he have a sense of foreboding? He looked out into the darkness across the bay toward the Osa Peninsula, the most biologically diverse place on earth, where Dr. Hoang had given him the bad news. The planet was slowly cooking. Future generations would soon be cast out of this paradise and condemned to live lives of brute survival. “It’s the End of the World (as we know it)” is my 119,000 word comic social novel and I’m seeking representation.
I'm seeking sunscreen.
This isn't a hook, it's a query letter filled with backstory.
Boy finds beach, boy loses beach is damn funny but it's not going to save you from the dreaded start over.
If the conflict is global warning, don't start over: stop. You can't have a novel about global warming. You can have a novel with characters who CARE about global warming but global warming is neither a character nor a plot.
And if the problem is global warming..what's he doing to do? Become Al Gore?
This doesn't work. Start over.