Times are tough in Crabapple Valley. The moat stinks, the castle is a mess, and the royal wizard is cooking dinner. Worst of all, there's no heir to the throne, and not an eligible orphan in sight until the King and Queen are miraculously saddled with two potential princesses within a week. Miggin is sweet and kind, but dull and timid. Druzilla is bold and brilliant, but filled with malicious magical mischief.
Who will be the next Princess of Crabapple Valley? The King and Queen can't decide, and soon it's orphan against orphan in a vicious battle for the crown, complicated by panicking servants, mysterious monsters, collapsing mountains, misspelled spells and amorous swineherds, until the girls finally put aside their rivalry to fight the true threat to the kingdom, the mad schemer behind Druzilla’s bid for the throne.
What unspeakable monsters lurk the mountains at night? Will Ruffles Muckchucker ever find true love? What is the record time for an enchantress to unchicken herself? Will the girls really ‘Influence’ each other? And perhaps most importantly, do the royal robes make Aunt Fume look fat? Find out in The Witches of Castle Crabapple, a 47,000 word comic fairy tale for upper middle grades (and adults who haven’t quite grown up.)
I thought Jessica Fletcher was the Princess of Crabapple...oh wait...different orchard.
this works. It's going to have to be very very funny to carry off the old as the hills motif, but what the heck, why not.
I like the vivid writing, the energy and things like "miraculously saddled" "misspelled spells" and Ruffles Muckchucker of course. Who wouldn't love a name like that.
And for the purse lipped, clenched cheek, nose twitchers who say things like "well sure over look the mistakes in that hook Snark for Brains, I'll look for an agent elsewhere" let's all just remember this isn't the damn spelling bee or convention of copy editors. This is the Happy Hooker COM (sound of clue gun) and the job here is to hook my interest.
I've long said "it's the writing" and surprise...it's the writing! I can fix your spelling, I can fix your grammar, I can even fact check if I have to. If you write well, with verve and energy, and you seem to have a compelling idea, I want to read your work.
Now back to our regularly scheduled snarking