HH Com 305

Jack Darby isn’t seeking excitement. The death of his fiancée and his resulting battle with alcohol has left him with a desire for simplicity, and he is content to enjoy the slow lane. Excitement intrudes when he encounters Lou De Silva, a tragic – sometimes helpless – man following the trail of a family legend: the location of a cache of ancient pirate treasure. After saving Lou from a deadly assault and realizing that he is still in danger, Jack takes responsibility for Lou’s safety and is drawn into his pursuit of the gold.

There is another interesting development in Jack’s life; Samantha Dubois has captured his attention. While a part of him still clings to the remnants of his tragedy, he knows he must allow his past to fall away and permit his heart to heal, and Samantha is willing and able to help him try.

When Graham Kilpatrick – a ruthless drug dealer who seeks to eliminate Lou for being a witness to murder – learns of their mission, he plans a heist that will leave Jack and Lou dead in the swamp, and provide him with the means for an early retirement. The gauntlet is thrown when he abducts Samantha to use as leverage.

With only an extraordinary painting and a cryptic poem to serve as clues, Jack and Lou are launched on an adventure where deception, romance and revenge interlace, and the search for the treasure becomes a quest for redemption and closure.

You've got most of the form down right. I'm not much on redemption and closure for "stakes in the game" but that's just me.

Even if you had perfect form, you've got the creakiest plot in the world right now. Drug dealers, kidnapped girlfriends, blah blah blah.

I liked the first paragraph. I'm always interested in people who do altruistic things as long as it has overtones of sardonic humor. Think Rick in Casablanca (I stick my neck out for no man--right after he hides the letters of transit).


Zany Mom said...

I like the premise and I hope the plot has more thriller elements than the hook lets on. But I like these reluctant hero books. You know, the guy's just trying to survive yet gets yanked into someone else's mess, now has to figure out how to get out, and get the bad guy caught. My kind of story. :)

Anonymous said...

Your plot sounds like you started off writing a literary novel about people with feelings that need closure, then decided it wouldn't sell (right!) and beefed it up with a contrived drug dealer character and a swamp scene.

I like the reluctant hero too. Not much a fan of the reluctant writer. Be who you are and get on with the writing.


Anonymous said...

"an extraordinary painting and a cryptic poem to serve as clues"

I saw that in The Ghost Breakers with Bob Hope and Paulette Goddard, 1940. Always liked that one.

Anonymous said...

"There is another interesting development..." is clunky.