Novel title: What I Hate About Dogs (Killer Yapp is deleting his christmas card to you)
DAISY Pettersen, 18, is an outsider, the human equivalent of the planet Pluto. In a blue-eyed Wisconsin town she alone has Chinese eyes, the legacy of unknown ancestors. Despite efforts to please her beautiful adoptive mom, GLORIA doesn't value her. When Gloria intercepts a letter written in Chinese, Daisy retrieves it from the trash. The translation is her dream come true: an invitation to meet her biological mother, JASMINE, who will be in Chicago soon. Other letters from Jasmine (written in English) have vanished.
Daisy, who doubts anyone will ever love her unconditionally, is unaware that someone does: her friend and mentor, SAM. Sam supports her goal to become a chef by giving her cooking lessons at his café. Decades older, he’s a Vietnam vet with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and direct knowledge of Gloria’s family history. Gloria remains haunted by her beloved father’s suicide twenty years earlier. Daisy decides to find out why someone who apparently had everything would hang himself. Sam, who once worked for the man, describes him with contempt. Gloria fears that Sam will tell Daisy a “gross distortion of the truth”, but her campaign to discredit him backfires, propelling Daisy even farther into enemy territory. On learning that Sam was first to arrive at the death scene, suspicion takes root in Daisy's mind. Was it an “assisted” suicide? Ignoring Gloria’s histrionics and her own misgivings, Daisy’s off to meet Jasmine—accompanied by Sam.
Who's the main character? Daisy? Why are we talking about Gloria? If it's Gloria, why are we talking about Daisy. Focus on your main character and her story. You've got to much going on here for me to figure this out without a map.
What seems simple and obvious to you, the writer, is brand new to me. Short declarative sentences and razor sharp focus help me see what you want me to know. Time enough for all the other stuff when I read your pages.