HH Com 32

Take a thirty-something Midwestern magazine editor with an irrational fear of death and abandonment. Add a smart mouth, competition that's killing her financially, a suicide that isn't, and a murder that wasn't. Watch her stumble over enough dead bodies to fuel the dilemma of a jeweler's missing dealer, a dead man's missing wife and a missing pink diamond. But the dead aren’t who they pretend to be and the living aren’t who they want to be. That’s enough to create pandemonium in this woman’s life for 75,000 words in the character-driven mystery, The Kill Fee.

This is anorexic. Flesh it out with names of characters and a little bit more juice and I'd probably read pages. If of course I can overlook "irrational fear of death and abandonment".

You're on the right track.


Anonymous said...

go to sleep miss snark

astrologymemphis.blogspot.com said...

Uh oh. If this is anorexic, mine is beyond skeletal. *takes deep breath* At least I'll know what to expect. Damn.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said... go to sleep miss snark

I'm actually enjoying this "Snark after Dark" excercise... JPD

HawkOwl said...

Anything that says "take X" and "add Y" automatically tells me I hate your style.

Anonymous said...

What happened to 4'33"?

I'm with you, Southern Writer. Skeletal.

The pain will only last a few minutes. And alcohol will help, I think.

That said, I was lost in this query-felt like a jumble to me. But author, all is not lost. Miss Snark after dark basically liked your writing and story==just wanted a little more. Congrats.

Stacia said...

I think this sounds fun.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure you can have a "character driven mystery" since it is a mystery and therefore solving the mystery--aka plot--is what drives the story. Every story should have well drawn characters, so I don't think it is necessary to point it out.

Anonymous said...

I love how MS pointed out the oddity of calling the fear of DEATH and ABANDONMENT "irrational".

Virginia Miss said...

This looks fun. I like the style.

I agree you should cut "character-driven" mystery. That oxymoron undermines what's come before.

I want to know where she fits into the pandemonium. Is she accused of murder? Is someone she cares about killed?

Anonymous said...

You can have an irrational fear of something that is rational to fear. It is your reaction or obsession that makes irrational.

Example: It is normal to be afraid of a house fire. If your fear prevents you from lighting a candle, cooking a meal, or heating your home in the winter, you've got a problem.

I thought the characterization on that point was clear, but perhaps the author should specify if the fear is of phobic proportions.