HH Com 334

Ayita lives on a planet that denies Earth's existence. So when she finds a collection of books describing the forgotten planet, which will she believe? Following the instructions in a deceased woman's journal, Ayita discovers the long-abandoned space center, steals a spacecraft, and she will travel to the end of the universe to find what she is looking for.

she's looking for the Crapometer!!!
Of course, what else would someone journey across space and time for?
I'm so pleased.

This isn't a hook for all the usual reasons.


Dave said...

Star Trek Voyager and Captain Janesway did this - they discovered a planet populated by intelligent reptiles descended form the dinosaurs who didn't want to admit they were our distant cousins.

Anonymous said...

Okay, the hook sucks, but I love these "Mankind scattered, doesn't know for sure where they came from" stories. Fill in the plot. Is she just curious as to whether or not it ever existed? She's gonna steal a space ship for that? Gotta compel her a bit there. Something bad has to happen if she doesn't find it. Are the authorities after her? Are they trying to stop her from finding out for some reason? It would help if they were. If there's a dissaster of an Earth on the end of her journey? Is that something she has to fix? Is there an Eden? You've probably written a bunch of stuff into the story covering this, the hooks gonna have to spell it out, because, as it is, it's like me stealing a car to ride back to Pittsburgh to see if it's still there because dad told me it was.

cm allison said...

Don't forget the most classic of the "where did man originate?" stories: Azimov's Foundation series (and now I have reveled my age)

Anonymous said...

"...to find what she is looking for." Which is, what? It's a good start for a hook, it's just unfinished.