12.22.2006

HH Com 340

Sometimes, Caro Sweet wonders whether getting her PhD at the University of Texas is worth the trouble, especially since she has to work full time just to make ends meet. But when her dissertation advisor, Harry “The Horrible” Hobbly, turns up dead, she has more to worry about than a passing grade. The manner of Harry’s murder makes a statement Caro is uniquely qualified to interpret; if she doesn’t get it right, she could wind up in jail…or worse. With a little help from her friends and a shady—if sexy—club owner, Caro is on her way to solving a mystery well outside the ivory tower.


This is the barest minimum of a correct hook form. I might read pages if it was a slow day or I didn't have a huge back log of queries just to see if you've got energetic vivid writing, but this is barely a plot. I'd probably ask for a synopsis before I asked for a partial on this just to see what you're doing.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, a little thin. You're at least gonna have to cough up what the dissertation is about. If I saw this on a book jacket, I'd pass. Not because it isn't interesting, but because I wouldn;t want to get 200 pages in, only to find out he's the bad ass over at McDonalds.

Laura K said...

As usual, Miss Snark has told me *just* what I needed to know! I had a feeling I might have left out too much information in order to keep things short, but I just wasn't sure how much to put in.

I know you probably don't read comments, Miss Snark, but THANK YOU!!

Laura K said...

"bad ass over at McDonalds" :snicker: I think I might need to write a book atbou that. I am laughing my butt off at the concept. I see a guy with a big, heavy, black leather jacket covered with chains, wearing biker boots and standing over a deep fryer. :giggle:

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure that this was what the main chracter's name was supposed to conjure, but it was the first thing that came to mind when I read "Caro Sweet."

heidi said...

Yeah, needs more detail. I would like to know one thing:

manner of Harry’s murder makes a statement Caro is uniquely qualified to interpret;

What is this statement? This may go far to explain a lot of how Caro is "uniquely qualified" to interpret, and tell us much about the plot.

Anonymous said...

Caro Sweet? Shouldn't that be Karo Syrup?

Laura K said...

Anon and Anon...

Yep, that's actually part of the book.

With a name like Caro Sweet, I’d heard just about every sugar and syrup joke imaginable, some of them at incredibly inappropriate times. I’d also been treated to more ridiculous renditions of Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” than anyone should have to suffer.

:D
Laura

Laura K said...

Heidi -

You know, I really meant to include that and I can't believe I left it out! It was supposed to say:

But when her dissertation advisor, Harry “The Horrible” Hobbly, turns up dead, her naked body posed to resemble a Medieval saint, Caro has more to worry about than a passing grade.

I think I must have been working from an older version and accidentally pasted that version in. Even with that, as MS noted, it needs more detail, but *that* should have been there!

A Paperback Writer said...

I had a good chuckle over Caro Sweet, too. Perhaps it's just because it's "baking season" right now.....

Fuchsia Groan said...

I can answer Caro's question. Getting your Ph.D is NOT worth the pain... at least not in a field like art history... at least not if you expect to make a living without starting from scratch in your thirties. OK, I may be a bit bitter.

"Passing grade" rings false to me, because doctoral students (at least in the humanities) never ever get actual F's. They get Incompletes. Or they get B's, which some say are the equivalent of F's at that level. A successful defense sounds more like something she'd worry about, or just getting the bloody dissertation in with her advisor's approval, which will be hard if her advisor is dead (love the name, by the way!). Don't know if any of this matters for the mystery market, though.

Laura K said...

Fuchsia --

Believe me, it's not worth getting in Medieval Studies, either.

:D
Laura, Queen of Useless Degrees

Anonymous said...

Also, be sure to get the facts right.

If she's at the dissertation stage, she's not taking classes--hence no "passing grades."

(nor is she "graded" on her dissertation)

Laura K said...

Anon -

Yes, the words fuchsia used -- "successful defense" -- work better (though I am afraid to use that for a mystery; do you have another suggestion?) It wasn't actually a matter of factual problems (being as I have been there, done that, believe me I don't have any problems with the facts of the pain in the tush that is grad school), it was a matter of not being able to come up with the right words. That's one of the reasons I love this place...you can get the help you need.

--Laura

Virginia Miss said...

Author, this looked interesting to me. My first question you already answered with your comment about the victim being posed as a medieval saint. The next thing you need to do is clarify the danger she's in (jail ... or worse.) Then, maybe add a bit more about the protag to hook our interest and get us to care about her situation.

Good luck.

Laura K said...

Thanks, Virginia!

Anonymous said...

The names just don't do it for me. Stick to Caroline, if that's her name, or change the nickname to Carrie, but leave the lame jokes out of it. Also... Harry "The Horrible" Hobbly is a she? WTF?