12.23.2006

HH Com 362

When does a psychic know he's clairvoyant and not whacked-out nuts? In the mainstream novel, Fighting Gravity, 33-year-old Brian Thompson has dodged the truth for most of his life, but lately a persistent vision derails him with the revelation of a murder--not just any murder, but the brutal death of his new upstairs neighbor, a gorgeous flirt, Sandra Stein.

It's free-fall time for Brian. His detested job as an art director at a Boston ad agency is constant stress, he's adjusting to single life after a bitter divorce, and now he can't decide whether to acknowledge his prophetic ability, let alone warn his neighbor about her impending death.

His gay colleague, the colorful and amusing Frank, encourages Brian to explore a New Age solution. Though he's skeptical, Brian begins therapy with a psychiatrist, a doctor who happens to be clairvoyant. As his life unravels, his psychic shrink guides him on a transformational passage.


This is like Tony Soprano without the evil mother and the gun wielding posse.

You've got part of what you need. Now we need to know why it matters.

5 comments:

BernardL said...

This was a quirky but interesting hook until two things.

‘His detested job as an art director at a Boston ad agency is constant stress, he's adjusting to single life after a bitter divorce, and now he can't decide whether to acknowledge his prophetic ability, let alone warn his neighbor about her impending death.’

This bad, run-on sentence watered up my hook reading eyeballs. Secondly, can a colleague just be a colleague without his sexual preference being advertised, especially in the hook?
How about just the colorful and amusing Frank?

Crystal Charee said...

Leave it to a pretty girl to bring a guy out of psychic denial. Of course he'll try to save her--that's supposed to be a mystery? I LIKE the psychic shrink. That is unique.

I'd lose the whole second paragraph because it's pretty obvious he'll acknowledge his clairvoyant ability. Also, being an art director for an ad agency sounds like a fun job. Maybe the conflict could be that if he acknowledges his psychic ability, he'll lose his awesome, non-kooky job.

As for Frank, either drop "colorful" or "gay" as an adjective. Used together it's cliche, and rude. And Frank doesn't seem to have much to do with the plot except to introduce Brian to his new shrink.

The hook needs a lot of work, but the premise sounds interesting. I'd read it.

Anonymous said...

"Fighting Gravity, 33-year-old Brian Thompson"

:First things to pop into Editor's head:

"When Gravity Fails" the Hugo-winning novel by the late George Alec Effinger...

And that one of the Editor's drinkin' buddies is editor Brian Thompson.

Anonymous said...

I agree with above -- isn't it enough to know that Frank is colorful and amusing? Do we really need to know who he's bedding at this stage? He can be gay in the story, but it ads nothing to the hook except an offensive cliche.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't a fan of seeing yet another colorful, amusing gay man, but I really liked your first line.