12.23.2006

HH Com 372

Psyche wished all her young life for the perfect husband. And when she finds him, he's not just perfect, he's divine: Eros, the god of love himself. Unfortunately, with a divine husband comes a divine mother-in-law, and Aphrodite is not pleased that an "upstart mortal" dared to marry her son. To keep the two apart, Aphrodite locks Eros on Mount Olympus, and sets a series of tasks to wane Psyche's love. Now, if she ever wishes to see her husband again, Psyche must scale mountains, collect the deathly waters of the river Styx, and even visit the Underworld itself.

What's missing is the element of conflict. Is Aphrodite activiely opposing our gal Psyche? What you have here is a list of tasks, but no sense of who's trying to stop her. I can hear you saying "but but..the tasks, they're really impossible", and that is true. However, this is a novel, a romance novel (sort of) so we assume dear Psyche will prevail. What makes it fun is seeing the obstacles and how she overcomes them.

As to the difficutly, Miss Snark visits the Underworld often. It's called the luggage room.

Use the hook format to get an idea of the things you need to cover. Then make it your own.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'd read it. It was only one sentence--"while Aphrodite throws minotaurs, rock slides, male sirens, and Hephastes' kitchen sink at her"--away from being a great hook. There is conflict in the 250. Maybe not enough to carry a novel (we dunno yet), but enough for a look at pages.

Elektra said...

Thanks for the Snarking!

dancinghorse said...

This is a precis of the mythological story. To make it a hook, you need to show more of your own voice: more of the kind of writing anonymous1 spotted.

I like this sort of thing (old Classics geek, doncha know), and would read it if the writing held up.

Inkwolf said...

Sounds like it's worth a peek to me. :)

Virginia Miss said...

Good premise. I'd peek inside.

December Quinn said...

I'd read it, I'd love to see a real novel retelling of a Greek myth!

McKoala said...

Divine first sentence.

Anonymous said...

I too would love to see a RE-telling. How would this writer make his or her story different from Apuleius's? This isn't just a myth, but a myth with a VERY specific and famous version. It's like saying the writer has an epic poem about the end of the Trojan War. Yeah? So what makes it different than Homer's?

Anonymous said...

See.. . It sounds like a winner to me. I would read it. What you have done is good too! Let us all know when the book comes out. I want to buy it!
Keep writing!