12.23.2006

HH Com 396

Image is everything in the political world of Washington, DC. A quick wit, a silver tongue, and
flexible morals will shoot you straight to the top. 300 lbs. of extra flesh on a medium build will ensure that you linger at the bottom. Add a bit of depression and you have the recipe for Augustine Princeton’s life.

Augustine, a more than full-figured lobbyist, is reeling from a recent divorce stemming from her husband’s affair when she learns that her obese mother has died because she ate herself to death. As she struggles with her grief, promising clients reject her because she doesn’t fit their corporate image. Then Augustine suffers a minor fall in the office, leaving her both humiliated and physically incapacitated. She decides losing weight could make life better and has gastric bypass surgery.

A year passes and (your hook starts here --->) Augustine has gone from being a bottom dweller to the crème de la crème. New clothes are in order and a new man is on the horizon. Things appear to be on track. Only life is not as wonderful as it seems. As her size decreases, her emotional void increases. The strict diet does nothing to kill the candy-craving monster that lives within her. And her fairy tale romance quickly transforms into a tawdry affair. Skinny is not better.

In an age where we all look for quick fixes to our problems, Augustine learns that losing physical weight is not as important as getting rid of emotional baggage.

This isn't a hook.
This is a description of your idea.

You've got two dimensional characters here and very very platitude driven plot.

7 comments:

Zany Mom said...

Oh, geez, someone's been following me around again, blabbing my life's story. Okay, so I'm not a lobbyist. And yes, skinny isn't everything. And when the weight creeps back, Augustine will realize that being heavy isn't as bad as it was. ;) In fact, it's quite liberating!

Anonymous said...

I'm seeing a lot of revenge by the big girl being hurled about, and troubles of the beautiful that are solved when she gets back to her big roots and becomes nice again. Not something I'd read. If that's not the feel of the book, then the hook was written improperly and stressed the wrong things.

Anonymous said...

One of my friends went through that surgery. She literally had to beg an insurance board to please pay for something that would save her life. It was a close vote. She found out that day just how indifferent people are to fat chicks. Without their yes she'd have been dead in 6 months or less.

Happily sanity won, she got the operation. She lost over 270 lbs, had operations to remove sagging skin-- the whole Richard Simmons makeover. There was a lot of pain she had to go through.

On the way she dumped a loser spouse, met a sweet new guy, married, they now have a kid, all while her business continues to grow.

She's still no Twiggy, but she's alive, happy, and I respect what she went through in her journey.

THAT story works for me, otherwise I'd have been standing over her grave back in 1997.

jerico said...

Is there an exercise routine for losing emotional love handles?

Anonymous said...

This will sell a zillion copies if you include the diet.

Anonymous said...

this story could work. you'll have to avoid all the cliches and make us like her, but i would definitely read something like this, especially if it looks at weight issues in a new and intelligent way (read jemima j and do exactly the opposite of everything jane green does ... )

Anonymous said...

Isn't this "Good in Bed" in D.C.?

Ever since Weiner wrote that, there have been squillions of books about large women thinking that losing weight will change their lives.

And to anonymous, what diet? It's a surgery, not a diet.

I'm not your audience, though. It sounds as if some would read it.